毎日頑張りましょう

people will straight face be like drake lowkey won the beef. look man whether you like the guy or not they were calling him a pedophile at the super bowl

If this shit happened in 2005 it meant your computer had a virus

half paying attention and the 7-11 cashier was pronouncing 12 dollars as "two elf dollars" and I kept saying "what?"

6 us dollars = 1 elf dollar

I was curious if the exchange rate has gotten worse so I did a quick search for elf inflation and

we developed powerful teeth and jaws to rend the flesh of the devious sourdough loaf

I Love fangames

*goes to Coachella in a white linen suit like an antebellum lawyer, sweating profusely and dabbing at my forehead with a handkerchief* now, I’m no fancy scientist, but would you folk know where a simple gentleman such as myself could obtain some acid? Now, I’m no big city lawyer, but could any of you fine youths point a country boy such as myself in the direction of some fucking acid?

Son, your mother and I are unfollowing each other

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

i could definitely beat the shit out of master chief seeing as i'm a lesbian and he's not a lesbian

is this happening because i was born