As if.

i knowwwwww in my heart ilya would love taking shanes last name and after they have kids referring to their family unit as hollanders. ilya turning around to the backseat like okey hollanders here is plan. we are going to be in and out of costco in thirty minutes. you may choose ONE item each. if we get separated we meet at optometrist. we will get ice creams on way out as long as everyone is cool and nobody tells dad. hollanders on three.

I do often think about how the origin of “he would not fucking say that” was in reference to a post which depicted Cartman SouthPark responding politely when asked for his pronouns

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

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thinking about a very specific scenario of a grace with no video logs, with no xenonite failure, who comes back to earth as rocky comes back to erid, heart full but missing a very distinct piece. ten, twenty years go by, and grace is not malnourished nor does he look even half his age, but there's a deepset something in his eyes that has nothing to do with stratt's actions being revealed or the press or adjusting to earth again. about earth getting news of a ship coming down, whose atmosphere is fundamentally different now and causes trouble for that ship. damages sustained on that ship. a red light in the sky. suspected eridian contact as confirmed by dr ryland grace. thank you tom, anna temple here and we're live at nasa's makeshift landing pad, ready to receive, watching- oh, my- a row of officials that cannot pin down ryland grace this time as he, live on air, tears apart every country's anxiety of eridians by ripping from the crowd and jumping the fence into the launching area. a camera pan that judders from dr grace sprinting, the most energetic he's been in years, to a brown eridian kareening towards him in a xenonite suit. prepared to catch ryland's tackle and embrace him properly, there on the green grass, for the very first time. first contact.

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

ned’s time in king’s landing is actually so funny because you have everyone like littlefinger, varys, cersei, etc. telling him how bad he is at scheming and keeping secrets and playing the game. meanwhile this man has had a secret targ baby hidden up north for 14 years and noneee of them have a clue. he doesn’t even have to try that hard either because no one gaf about bastards, so ned just shoves jon in the back of the hall when the royal family visits and lets him hang out right under their noses. then jon quietly gets tucked away on the wall with absolutely no suspicion from anybody because for once ned didn’t put his trust in anyone but himself. what’s even funnier is that ned gets to king’s landing and immediately starts drawing attention to every single scandal that relates to his own secret…investigating robert’s secret bastards, publicly condemning him for his plan to assassinate a targaryen child, accusing cersei of lying to everyone about her bastards…like why are you bringing up shady bastards when you have a shady bastard of your own to protect. except he actually gets away with it! because he’s taking advantage of westeros’s rigid class hierarchy and their complete disregard for/dismissal of bastards and outsmarts them all and then he just dies. the worst part is that ned can’t even appreciate how funny he is because he’s so repressed that he can only think about jon in any meaningful way via violent ptsd flashbacks. tragic but still an unintentionally better player than any of his killers.