A Little Britt-Ish

the phrase really should be "eat your cake and have it too" im with the unabomber on this one

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

I feel like there’s literally no stronger swear word than when a girl in bonnet in a movie says something like, “But Lady Snapplecap says I cannot until I come of age!” and a dude wearing pants tucked into his boots and an open shirt replies, “DAMN Lady Snapplecap!” with the force of 435 F-bombs

do you have any idea how refreshing it is to see a correction/suggestion to this post that actually understands the assignment

i am an ally to all embarrassing and uncool women forever and ever

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"

Ozempic scares the shit out of me. You're telling me there's a drug that takes away both the craving side of hunger and targets the brain's rewards center for eating. You're telling me it takes the joy out of eating and it turns you into a skeleton. Why did we turn The Curse of the Black Pearl into a drug. What the fuck.

update it seems this literally only happens if you romanced astarion. i've only seen this reported with astarion romances and every other romance seems to work fine, she goes off alone

it's the 'oh' that gets me every time

Hazel was FUCKING DONE

“Gimme the water-! Damn it. Gimme the WATER-! Damn it. Maybe if I use the other paw? Damn it. You know what, little box, fuck you!”

Studying the hundred years war so I can study the war of the roses so I can read Shakespeare so I can read Macchiavelli so I can study the 30 Years War so I can appreciate Rembrandt so I can understand the rise of colonialism as a means of European hegemony so I can read Victor Hugo so I can read Marx so I can read Edward Said so I can read Dune so I can read Fevre Dream so I can read ASOIAF so I can write au fanfiction on the internet