Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Misplaced Lens Cap
tannertan36
roma★
Three Goblin Art
#extradirty
wallacepolsom
Claire Keane
almost home
sheepfilms
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Andulka
macklin celebrini has autism
titsay
Kaledo Art
Monterey Bay Aquarium
cherry valley forever
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Jordan
seen from Jamaica
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@briccckhouuze
staying naked after a shower is fine. i live alone and it's warm enough. my home is my castle. underwear on but no shirt is good also. minimal semblance of dressedness. shirt with no underwear however? unspeakable freak shit. i am a defenseless little slut and i need to be bred. that's what shirt with no underwear says
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I overheard my 14-yo say (while petting her cat), "you raw piece of corn. You unplugged toaster. The plate is spinning, but the light isn't on."
testing my evil death beam
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in general
how Siren opens her mouth
how she puts her ‘mask’ back on
so make it
Cunt
OH its a software. its a software anyone can download and use. i genuinely thought there was just one jugglegif fiend besieging tumblr with their vision. i thought this was our horse race tests.
get swarmed idiot
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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cure of ra
Now its blessing of Ra
"Sunburn will give you skin cancer"
Ra, God of the Sun
Fungus has done so much for humanity. Penicillin. Radiation cleanup. Delicious mushrooms. Deadly mushrooms. Psychadelic mushrooms. And now my boy RA has chosen the humble mold spores as his vessel through which to cure cancer.
Went to take this picture of this insane bigfoot sex sign and only after opening my camera did i notice the entire flock of little chickens chilling in the dirt. life is good again
me looking at the sign then seeing the chickens
One of my co-workers has a standing desk that he uses sitting down. It looks like this
steak is one of those foods that wouldn’t rank in my top 15 delicacies and it’s not something I usually order in restaurants and I rarely crave it and then I’ll see someone eating a delicious beautifully cooked steak and I’ll needdddddd it. I’ll be filled with this Paleolithic Neanderthal ass primitive instinct to tear into a big slab of meat RIGHT NOWWWWWWW.
people will say "why cant the eldritch gods just be nice to humans :((" and then kill a bug for existing near them
my dearly beloved mutual you cant just leave this in the tags
While exploring a vast and inscrutable city which seems to predate life on earth I am gently picked up by something incomprehensible with the higher-dimensional equivalent of a cup and piece of paper, then lovingly set outside in my natural habitat. Unfortunately the being exists outside of time and can't really tell human cities apart from one another so I appear without warning in ancient sumer.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Cinderella rewrite where Cinderella’s father is an unusually successful fisherman due to his secret friendships with the shy and mysterious mermaids, successful enough to attract a moderately wealthy and ambitious bride with two daughters. Once he dies, her stepmother, determined to make sure her daughters inherit the fishing business as dowries by marrying before Cinderella, forbids her from going out on the fishing boats or into town and makes sure she spends as much of her time as possible doing drudgework, hauling offal and cleaning fish. When the Prince’s ball comes around, an important occasion for young women to make good connections, the stepmother forbids her from going, telling her that she needs to get the latest salmon catch gutted and ready for sale instead.
Cinderella’s mermaid godmother calls upon her people to clean the fish and gifts her a dress and shoes of shimmering fish scales that wreathe her in rainbows under the moonlight. She makes an impression on the Prince at the ball so strong that he immediately falls in love with her, and when she’s forced to flee before her stepmother notices her (no masquerade mask or dancing rainbows will disguise her from her own family at close range), the Prince is left with only a delicate fish leather slipper left on the front steps to try to find her again.
He goes around the houses, seeking the owner of the slipper, but Cinderella is once again working in the fish sheds. He stepmother, desperate and determined and having found Cinderella’s other shoe that very morning, realises what has happened and takes a knife to the feet of her prettiest daughter, telling the prince that she suffered an injury that very morning but those are definitely her shoes, see, here’s the other one, and they still fit.
The daughter is pretty and witty and charming, and while the Prince doesn’t feel the same spark and instant sense of connection that he did at the party, he reasons that she’s overwhelmed and in pain and once she’s healed, all will be well. There are no birds to whisper of blood in the shoe – the Prince has seen the bandaged feet already – and the daughter slips on the shoes (the only shoes she has that will fit her, now,) and accompanies him to the palace.
But the stepmother is no doctor, and by the time the Prince gets her to the palace doctors, it’s too late – his beloved has contracted an infection in her feet from the shoe leather, made unclean in its travels. She will survive – it is an infection of a common filth of fish and birds, one that the doctors have potions for for the occasions where dangerously cooked food causes outbreaks – but in her raving, she confesses the whole scheme to the Prince who, furious, returns to the village to find the girl he truly fell in love with, the girl hidden from him.
“Oh, yeah, the fish cleaner,” the villagers shrug. “We don’t see her around very much, she’s probably in the sheds. Her family calls her Salmonella.”
GAHHHHHHHHHH WHY THE ENDING WHYYYY I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE A GOOD JOKE WHY DID IT HAVE TO END WITH A PUN THAT STUPID GOD
The pun was fantastic thank you very much
fondly remembering that time I was working as a cashier when I was 19-20 and my former bus driver and his wife came through. He says to me "Hey, you look familiar" and I reply "Yes, I was one of the bus kids you drove, specifically the one you screamed at and threatened to ban from the bus and make walk home because I was crying out in pain while the other kids were ripping huge chunks of hair out of my head but you did nothing about them." and his wife slowly looked at him like this
