dont worry about it

thinking fondly of the time that my girlfriend heard the opening bars of holding out for a hero at the gay bar and asked "is this touhou music?"

we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are

A standard porno with the bad acting and music and whatnot but partway through the action the camera pans to a millipede and hunting spider locked in a duel for survival, the sounds of sex fade out and the scene in the background blurs, epic battle music starts to play

my names sweetie 3000 because the last 2999 sweeties were all destroyed

a kitty is like a stuffed animal that is so heavy and it bite you and she loves you so much and you're best friends

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops