Revelry Reverie

become food for the earth and the worms, this time on diners drive-ins and dives

When all you have is a vase, all your problems start to look like flowers

Well sometimes my problems look like two heads facing each other really close

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

World Heritage Post

Legal Eagle asking "are you covered to have an open flame in the studio?" and a producer worriedly yelling "we're not!" as Ally goes to light a bong they filled with real whiskey is maybe the hardest I have ever laughed at an episode of Game Changer.

Laek Superor perfec t size for put bote in to sail! inside very Soft and Comfort boat sail soundly put boat in Lek Sperior. Put Boat In Lake Superior. no problems ever in superior lake

TIL that in medieval times trebuchets were sometimes used during tournaments to bombard the watching ladies with roses, and there is something so inherently comedic about this to me. picture me blasting roses at my lover's window with the force of a battlefield assault to win her hand

T-shirt cannon

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

april fools day is actually the most sensible day of the year because it's the only day on which people will read something on the internet and stop for a second to consider whether or not it's actually true

They should start calling it April Media Literacy Day.

I like having a phone but I'm not so sold on having a phone number. people are calling me

after a lifetime of hearing about aragorn but not reading the books or watching the movies, genuinely nothing could have prepared me for his actual introduction. the hobbits picked this man out of a dumpster. he is a textbook softspoken angst prince and he is covered in dirt and he probably smells so bad. he’s the coolest man alive and is so casual about it. his number one skill is Knowing Where They Are and his number two skill is Having A Horrible Destiny That Torments Him. tolkien got it in one i’m afraid aragorn son of arathorn you are the guy of all time