i'm wasting my life on the computer when i could be living my life to the fullest on the computer

the irredeemable pervert is generally well regarded among their friends for their insightful thoughts and all around pleasant demeanour

“what’s the song of the summer” ?? it’s DANCING IN THE DARK by bruce springsteen for the 42nd year in a row

don’t let anyone convince you that caring about the earth, the environment, and wildlife isn’t cool. it is so cool to care. it is so important to care.

sorry can't talk rn i'm looking up the menu of a restaurant i'm going to in a week

it would be so nice if you were allowed to start working on projects before you hit the 12 hour until deadline mark but sadly it’s not possible with our current technology. scientists are hard at work but for now this is one of the limitations we must face as a people

none who ask me what i plan on doing with my master’s degree shall prosper

my buddy who's an early human was showing me his rudimentary stone tools like "these are gonna change everything". bruh 😂😂

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

“imagine there’s no countries” fuck off john lennon how are we supposed to play the world cup without countries you ultimate scum

fuuuck I could use a mysterious benefactor right now

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

i miss woke college where i’m not treated like i’m schizophrenic for talking about feminism 101