She Wasn't That Pretty Anyways

not a girlboss, not a girlfailure, but a secret third thing

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

I've got to find myself more macrophage

Now Hiring: macrophages

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

starting to think some of yall arent serious bout finding beauty in the grotesque

they cant even find beauty in fat ppl

Guys I was GIDDY with excitement when I realized the stick is how they figure out the standing-up perspective!!! I always figured people doing this stuff just had magical perspective powers but that makes SO MUCH SENSE what a cool tool!!! Amazing job!

what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

if I were an English teacher I would print this out and put it onto the wall next to a "reading is poggers" poster

how about you look at Penny + her Xmas gifts Dec. 25, 1966 and maybe you’ll calm down

why the FUCK is there a big spider on my bedroom wall it doesn't look like any spider i've ever seen in my entire life what the fuck

are you sure it's a spider?

oh that's a wolf spider. they taste like celery and pork and they aren't poisonous.

why is it in my room

and why do you know what it tastes like

@sicklythiasus why do you know what a wolf spider tastes like

nom nom.

what

yummy yummy in my tummy tummy

when and why did you eat a wolf spider

why was your solution to eat them

i mean, no one else was gonna.