Dirty Bioware Confessions

Confession: I recently lost my virginity, and it was a very disappointing experience. Masturbating to Dragon Age guys is much better!

Confession: Respectfully, I would like Emmrich to lose his rings inside me so I can queef them out towards his fingers like a depraved game of ring toss.

Confession: I think an evening spent with Teia Isabela and Neve could fix me. Ok maybe not FIX me. But an evening with a gorgeous woman at each breast and one between my thighs sure as hell can't hurt.

Confession: everyone is so pissed at the warden and alistair for being so overtly horny during a BLIGHT. c'mon guys. stop humping and necking behind that tree THE WORLD DEPENDS UPON YOU

Confession: As a gift for all her hard work, Shepard convinces all the ladies at the Citadel party to kiss nervous little lesbian Traynor. When it starts with Ashley, she's already pretty flustered, but by the end with EDI she's basically a puddle.

Confession: Whenever something needs doing on the engineering sub-deck, Ken & Gabby have Tali go because they're scared of Jack. Tali doesn't like going because ever since Jack figured out she has a thing for big humanoid lips, she uses her sizable smoochers to stain Tali's mask with lipstick kisses. So every time Tali comes back up the stairs, she's partially blind and fully aroused.

Confession: i KNOW warden cousland is the KINKIEST BITCH with alistair once they're the monarchs. she's got the King of Ferelden CHAINED UP, on a LEASH, barking like a MABARI.

Confession: I think a mage Inquisitor lovingly riding Cullen with her mage robes still partially on would be good for him, actually. Character development.

-r

Confession: I think Ashur should hold me down while Tarquin fingers me to overstimulation and spanks my my pussy. Ashur calling me and good girl while Tarquin calls me a dirty whore… yeah.

Confession: thinking about rolling around one of Emmrich's nipples in my mouth and sucking on them

Confession: I want Jack to use biotics to drag me down to the engineering sub-deck while I scream in terror as though I'm being dragged to hell itself. Kissing noises and cartoon violence sfx will be heard before I return sore and shaken, yet unquestionably satisfied.

Confession: I want to kiss EDI on the lips just to see how lifelike that material is. I'm horny, but I can't do my guy Joker like that. I'm sure he'd understand my curiosity.

Confession: Alistair plz cuss me out

Confession: I need to further traumatize Cullen by my inqy giving him blood magic boners

Confession: I know for a fact that Anders stole Hawke's underwear to sniff and touch himself to

He's so HOT and SEXY AND I WANNA BITE HIM AND LET HIM BITE MEEEEEEE