My mind is a wad of gummy worms.

i will always be troy barrett's #1 defender because i get it. between fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, troy chose fawn and i don't think he's wrong for that. you have to imagine a freshly drafted troy barrett, being on a team full of homophobic dicks, and being roomed with another rookie who is a total asshole but so confident and so loved. he reminds him of his dad, who he's always thought of as the quintessential male, and he thinks about how maybe he could make his father proud if he acted like that too. so he does. he's still scared, so fucking terrified, but now he can pretend. he's good at pretending. at some point, he's barely even pretending, and he's loved for it. he has a family, and friends, and when he really needs a break from pretending, he has his boyfriend. so what that it's all a lie? it's a lie that's keeping him safe. he's not going to bite the hand that feeds him. who cares if his stomach churns a little bit when he calls someone a fag, or if he looks at players like scott hunter with so much envious adoration? his dad is finally proud of him, and it's easier for him to just be who he's supposed to be rather than who he is.

It surprises me that many people think Shane isn't as invested in the relationship as Ilya. If you look at it, Shane takes many of the first steps. He's the one who introduces himself to Ilya first, and he's also the one who approaches him to try to have a conversation beyond sex on two occasions, the second time being when he first brings up the idea of a real relationship. Not to mention that he's the one who comes up with the plan. From the outside, it's obvious Ilya is the one who sacrifices first, but Shane is just as committed to the relationship. That fight they have is a result of their lack of communication, on both their parts. For me, Shane is such a precious character because despite being so afraid, he keeps taking the first step because he truly loves Ilya and would do anything to be with him.

This is why Pride is not just a party. It's a joyful celebration, but it's also a pointed and colourful two-finger salute to a world that stood back whilst so many of us died. And we'll never go quietly, never again.

Thank god they decided to make more

But In doing so…she created her biggest enemy…Jolene

glad this post is resonating with the local populace fr

the Good Place really nailed it when they said that the point of morality is just to try. To try and be better today than you were yesterday.

I’m weirdly calm right now and I don’t know why. Is this the calm before the storm before I go fully Irish and flip the fuck out? Stay tuned. Anyways ALL of my love and support to Hudson Williams. I hope you complete the EGOT someday.

writers really will spend twenty minutes pacing around the kitchen thinking “this scene is genius” and then sit down to type and suddenly remember approximately three words and one emotional vibe

ok i'm still thinking about the branding thing. au where your soulmate leaves a brand on you in some way when you touch them - maybe their ring leaves a mark when you shake hands, or you both come away with marks from brushing arms on the subway - and they burn hot, just for a moment, just enough to make you notice. and shane and ilya both think they're fine because nothing happened when they met. they shook hands, and slammed each other into the boards, and kissed and touched and fucked and nothing. and it's perfect. until it isn't. until they both want more and want to stop wanting more but can't bring themselves to break it off despite the fact that they're both sure that any day now the other one will meet their soulmate. and it'll all be over. and then the tuna meltdown happens and then rose happens and ilya feels sick. constantly, every day, desperately wishing he'd been able to leave a mark on shane, that shane had left his mark on him. wishing even more desperately that he didn't want that. he's so sure that she's left her mark on shane that he almost doesn't go to tampa. almost comes up with some bullshit excuse. but he goes and shane walks into that bar looking so beautiful, his eyes and his smile and his freckles. and he's preparing to have his fears confirmed, but then shane says they weren't compatible. and he thinks he knows what it means and there's hope stirring in his belly, and when he finds shane on the beach and he asks for ilya's room number the hope crawls up his throat. but their thumbs brush and still nothing. no heat, no marks. and then up in that room, shane tells him he's gay, and ilya tells shane about his father, and shane kisses him and rocks him and just holds him. and when they finally fuck again it's slower and more reverent than ever before, and he flips shane on his belly and grinds into him slow and deep, leans down to whisper russian in his ear, because shane seems to like that, and his necklace lands on shane's shoulder. and it doesn't quite light up, not exactly. but ilya can see it. see when it goes hot and hear when shane cries out and comes, clenching around ilya and pulling him over the edge with him, and then ilya looks at the mark, traces it, kisses it, and shane whispers was that -?, and ilya doesn't really know what to say. yes doesn't seem like enough. nothing he could say does. he just lays his head on shane and nods. and feels tears prickling his eyes again. and shane pushes him off and goes to the bathroom to look and ilya's stomach drops again. he's sure shane is going to come back and tell ilya they can't. that he doesn't want him. that it must just be one sided. but instead he comes back and lays down and wraps himself around ilya, burying his face in his chest, and then ilya feels it - white hot, for just a moment. and shane sits up and they both look down and see a perfect imprint of shane's freckles right over ilya's heart.