⁑♱ The Archangel Who Brings Your Mail, Absolves Your Sins, and Condones Your Mischief: A "Comprehensive" Guide to the Deputy Apologist, Heaven's Very Own District Attorney, A Most Devoted Archangel of the Lord, and the Patron Saint of Injustice; Third Edition.
— first update: 08/05/2026 —
— last update: 17/07/2026 —
⚠️ DISCLAIMER BEFORE PROCEEDING! ⚠️
This is technically my boundaries list. I call them my "personal hazards" because it encompasses things that are boundary related but not necessarily applicable to me. For example some hazards may apply to your personal preferences, if that makes sense. I put it on the top just in case people got lazy and didn't read all of this totally important information, haha. Just a precaution, but alas, a necessary one.
- Please don't send me any donation scams! (Really. No scams in, like, general.)
- Please don't directly message me if you haven't interacted with any of my posts across any of my blogs before! If I know you from one of my alternate blogs, then you may message me here :D (Super specific, I know, but it shocks me whenever I see a dm from a person I've never seen in my notifs.)
- Tone tags are completely optional with me! I don't require them, but I don't mind if you use them! But also note I don't use tone tags—I never felt obliged to. If you would like me to, please let me know!
- I am Catholic. Yes, this is a very big point, because I know that Catholics often get a bad rep. If you aren't necessarily comfortable with that, feel free to stay away. It's no problem, and I completely understand. But I do want you to understand that I am not like that kind of Catholic. If you want more information, read below the bullet point below.
- Don't question it if I post at weird times lol.
- Here's an actual DNI list now: MAGA, "Christians" -> as in the bigoted ones, bigots in general, racists, homophobes, transphobes, people against any sort of religion, people that find "67" genuinely funny, people that rely on wolves to explain social order, and "pro-lifers"
And if you really don't want to read the mess below...
... here are some other websites I've ever-so-courteously made for you that are much easier to navigate but end up culminating into: "You have to read my pinned Tumblr post to actually not get lost on my page", plus some extra links for my own personal use.
Pronouns Page
Strawpage (I need gimmicks. Please. Please. Please. Also I'm not a big fan of anonymous things so if you want could you please sign your name? I'm asking like a crusty old Maltese dog that's 2 years past expiration)
The Bramalamania Watchlist
The Deputy Apologist's Mootiepie Birthday Calendar
I Know Polonius Said "Brevity is the soul of wit" But I Couldn't Care Less
Hi! My name is Bram, short for Abraham Alamania, and I am probably the most dramatically dry-humored person you will ever meet. I am totally a human, and I totally am not a vampire. Whenever you talk to me, and I just so happen to make a joke, you can practically hear the crickets. [Enter cricket.]
I apologize in advance for being a theatre kid. There's a method to my madness; there's organization in my chaos. I'm also really cringy, but you know what they say: to be cringe is to be free. I also really really really like the French Revolution. SJ is my goat. And also also, I love my Naval Girlfailiure William Barker Cushing. NHHT, I love you.
I know this first impression doesn't give you necessarily a pleasing perspective (unless you're into my excessiveness?) but I swear I'm not a cornball. I'm just Catholic.
Anyways!
This Block of Information Could Be Considered Stupefyingly Insignificant But Bram Insists That It Isn't And You Should Listen to Him
Okay. Bullet point time.
- I usually go by he/him, which is most definitely preferred, but if you truly insist, anything else is fine
- I'm bisexual, m'kay? Like Hamlet, m'kay? No further elaboration, m'kay?
- Now this part gets really complicated (for me personally) but I'm probably somewhere on the ace spectrum. I dunno though, so I just say I'm bisexual. I do know, however, I have an odd repulsion to getting married to cis men.
- Here's some personality things if you're into that! INTJ-T (Ni Te Fi Se), emphasis on the Fi aspect because I have an awkwardly heavy Fi, Melancholic-Choleric, 4w5, Chaotic Neutral
- I like to treat things that people don't know about me as a guessing game. Heh.
Okay, These Color-Coded Bricks of Text Look Really Big But I Promise That They're Fundemental
I present to you: massive bout of words. (Things I like, basically.)
Classic literature (to be more specific: The Picture of Dorian Gray, some Shakespeare, Crime and Punishment Catcher in the Rye, the Outsiders, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, et cetera); F1; Some anime, but sparsely (such as: Bungou Stray Dogs, Kakegurui, Hetalia, et cetera only applies if I can remember anything else); History if there is a fandom which I know there must be (I like mostly European history but all sorts of history is fun. I jump around); Mythology, especially Greek mythology, but I do adore other mythologies too; Movies! I love movies! Some of my favorites are Conclave, the Sound of Music, Top Gun (original), the Notebook, Stand by Me, BoRhap/Bohemian Rhapsody, and more but I really really really like Conclave; I also like watching TV, anime aside! Especially shows such as Suits USA, Three Body Problem, South Park (though I don't watch much anymore), Good Omens and others that I seriously can't remember. I also play Genshin and Honkai Star Rail but I don't want to talk about that.
Some of my hobbies include: collecting (records, cds, Funko Pops, figurines, mini building models, etc), drawing (traditionally or digitally), writing (plays, stories, letters, blah blah blah), reading, sulking in bed, did I mention sulking in bed, monologuing, complaining, lowkey rolling around doing nothing, stressing over academics, but also reassuring myself that I'm gonna be fine and there's nothing to worry about, listening to music, contemplating, and trying to survive the mirage that we call everyday life.
(Here's my former bio poem also)
'Twas a fateful spring day when this account was conceived;
Its owner regrettably Catholic and cursed with pleonasm.
Initially he thought perhaps there are better things to do on Earth than breed,
As if everything else he didn't do just as similarly caused a spasm.
And so he opened this wretched application on that fateful spring day,
Promising of his proficiency and other talents alike,
But whether or not he prov'd them is a question 'till this day.
He is just happy in the knowledge that he didn't name himself Mike.
A Most Methodical Method of Organization That I Wasn't Intent on Using at First, But I Got Over Myself: the Taglist
#bram speaks - I speak.
#bram asks - I ask.
#bram replies / #bram asks - I reply to asks. (Don't ask why I have two tags for this.)
#bram catalogs - I catalog famous posts.
#bram catalogs: for later - I save posts for later.
#bram reblogs - I reblog, except I like add extra text/tags to my reblog. I don't add this tag to things I reblog that I don't add substance to.
#bram's bored - I'm bored and I want opinions.
#bram reads - I read.
#bram draws - I draw.
#bram writes - I write.
#bram creates - I create (things that aren't drawing or writing).
#bram sprites - I make a new sprite for the bramalasona.......
#bramalasona / #the deputy apologist bram alamania - Posts with my sona in it.
#bram shows and tells - I show and tell things from my day and whatnot like that.
#bram milestones - I document my milestones.
#bram things - Other Bram things.
#bram's responsibilities - Posts about my Responsibilities.
#god save bram alamania - Idk, I just put these on random posts where I act really stupid.
#oh reason - Originated from a post I saw joking about dechristianization during the French Revolution. I put this on posts that I think are pretty lighthearted but with that undertone of existential dread or something.
#a day in the life of basil the great / #featuring bram's stupid fucking schedule - Posts that are basically little glimpses of my life. Hah! You get to see in the day of Bram himself.
#bram and his odd hyperfixation on [blank] or any adjacent tags - Posts with these sorts of tags will usually be about a fandom, but I don't really use them.
#bramalamania ocs - Posts about my ocs.
#bramsona / #cardinal bram / # count bram a. b. alamania / etc, etc - These tags will be under posts related to my numerous sonas. Good luck keeping track of them all. (They're semi-explained here.) . . . -> these tags aren't used anymore and were grouped together under #the bramalamanias 😌
#the bramalamanias - ^^ see above!
-> If you want the list of them: Count Abraham A. B. Alamania (vampire guy), Basil Alamania (most accurate to me irl), Cardinal Abraham Selever Alamania-Haller (cardinal guy), "Brian" (aka "Leslie"—old sona that forever haunts the other Bram variants), Abraham Freedom Alamania (weirdo patriot all-American bitch), King Adam I of Britain, Aleksei Sergeyevich Zamyotov of Russia, Dr. Jonas Alamania, Auggie (the child variant), bramalamania.exe "Bram" (the computer virus version)
#haremspouses - Posts involving my haremspouses! (@iobsesswaytoomuch1 @pearl-in-vinegar @straywings @leonardbirdstein @artandbeauty71 @shakespeare-guy-anon @trulyandreax -> go follow them. NOW.)
#haremclave - Posts about the haremspouse conclave universe.
#letters to a dying flame / #ltadf / #basil the great / #btgltadf - Posts relating to my play, Letters to a Dying Flame.
#the sabbatical / #tsab - Posts about my original story, the Sabbatical.
#mootiepies - Posts involving my mootiepies! (I LOVE YOU ALL! -> here are some especially cool ones! @png-peter-green @shedoescalcforfunsies @lobimster @dobadoorknob @niyashaaa @ladyliszt @mrwagster + if you weren't tagged I still love you very very much don't worry 🩵🩵🩵 lovelovelove)
#i love my mootiepies - Self explanatory.
#i love my [insert mootiepie here] - Personalized tags for different mootiepies.
Other Blogs I've Made For 25% Impractical Reasons but Are Purposeful Nonetheless
(Totes go follow these, by the way! Jeez, enough with the shameless plugging already, Bram.)
[🇨🇭- Deactivated, 🇻🇦- Active]
🇻🇦 @bramalamania - Bram Alama— wait!
🇻🇦 @prince-ofcats - Tybalt rp blog
🇨🇭 @danishdanishprince - Hamlet rp blog
🇻🇦 @deputyapologist (formerly @rightandsaintjust, @damnalamania, @shostakobitchh, and @basilthealright) - Art blog
🇻🇦 @beeloverpoet - Virgil rp blog
🇨🇭 @rosminusguil - Rosencrantz rp blog
🇨🇭 @letters2adyingflame - Basil the Great/Letters to a Dying Flame blog
🇨🇭 @the-sabbatical - The Sabbatical blog
🇨🇭 @cardinalalamania - Cardinal Alamania (Haremclave) blog
🇨🇭 @confusedtwin - Sebastian (Twelfth Night) rp blog
🇻🇦 @teenpoleon - Napoleon Bonaparte (teenage girl version) rp blog
🇨🇭 @lanterndoth - Moonshine (A Midsummer Night's Dream) rp blog
🇨🇭 @archangel-of-terror - Saint-Just rp blog
🇻🇦 @jeannielannes (formerly @jeanielannes with one n lol) - Jean Lannes rp blog (IT'S BACK!!)
🇻🇦 @teenttore - Segment 18 rp blog
🇻🇦 https://www.tumblr.com/rightandsaintjust - Reblog blog (for mindless things)
Just Be Glad That the Word Vomit is Finally Over
If you actually read this far, tickle me impressed pink. I've always been terrible at conclusions—I like to come (and go), but I never like to finish, if you catch my drift.
But yep. Now you know all you have to know about Bram. If you have any questions about vampiric origins, you will have to find out on your own.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I’d just like to mention for absolutely no reason at all that I got ordained by the Universal Life Church back in January and that my certificate is rolled up somewhere in my room.
wait like ordained as in?? a MINISTER??? 😭😭😭😭 oh my GOOOOOOOODDDD i always have had the urge to become a priest lowk but catholicism makes it complicated 😒😒
Ya, I’m ordained. Technically I can’t legally officiate a wedding until I’m 18 but there’s no age limit on getting ordained, and if Lady Liszt agrees I assume it would be a marriage in spirit anyways.
(Lowkey it’d take you like a decade to become a Catholic priest good look bro 😭)
YEAH EXACTLY THW FUCKING????? liek you gotta got to fucking. Priest school or whatever. PRIEST SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!! I love being Catholic and believe me I love God but i will FOREVER dunknon the institutionalized aspect on the church LMAO
Do you have a reference sheet for the Deputy Apologist? Asking for absolutely no reason at all of course
not a prooopperr reference sheet😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 but . But i have these🥰
so basically. uh. hair = brown, scarf is blue/white/red (french tricolor) and his sash is the same way, his frock coat is navy blue and his cravat is white🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰OH UEAH His eyes are poopy brown. trousers/breeches are beige. boots are black. And that shipild be all.... everything elsenis up to ARTISTIC INTERPRETATION!!!!!!
I’d just like to mention for absolutely no reason at all that I got ordained by the Universal Life Church back in January and that my certificate is rolled up somewhere in my room.
wait like ordained as in?? a MINISTER??? 😭😭😭😭 oh my GOOOOOOOODDDD i always have had the urge to become a priest lowk but catholicism makes it complicated 😒😒
Ya, I’m ordained. Technically I can’t legally officiate a wedding until I’m 18 but there’s no age limit on getting ordained, and if Lady Liszt agrees I assume it would be a marriage in spirit anyways.
(Lowkey it’d take you like a decade to become a Catholic priest good look bro 😭)
YEAH EXACTLY THW FUCKING????? liek you gotta got to fucking. Priest school or whatever. PRIEST SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!! I love being Catholic and believe me I love God but i will FOREVER dunknon the institutionalized aspect on the church LMAO
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
tagzz.. @undeadamethyst @prettygourlave @prosperousprophet @star-sstruck @oooo-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii @deanw1nchester67 @lana-loves-it-all @missdwinchester +open ofc (btw if anyone i keep tagging in these wants me to stop just lmk i don't wanna bother anyone!)
taggies : @th3dayman @nat-sgi @iamjacksbrokenheart111 @1ridescent1ris @urmamasmatcha @babydollluvsss @pileofdeerbones @uranias-spyglass @leightonsmissed @it-girl-blog @7ayokemon @ackleskisser-mp4 (not forcing), open tags, if you didn’t want to be pinged so sorry for the inconvenience </3
everybody go in a circle now, say your name and tell us what animal you would ride if you were the size of a peanut (<- actual ice breaker question I once received in group counseling)
hi im... ao3 guy? i would ride a dog, or and otter
@oranjesoranjesoranjes @itz-pingu-lol @iminahundredfandoms @adventures-of-impala @mademoiselles1 @raventhecrispy-offical @weirdo-offical and all my other moots + open tag
Toby and Id probably ride a duck because I love them. Probably a muscovy duck. Or maybe a Mandarin one. Or Joseph the duck at the creek behind my house
I’d just like to mention for absolutely no reason at all that I got ordained by the Universal Life Church back in January and that my certificate is rolled up somewhere in my room.
wait like ordained as in?? a MINISTER??? 😭😭😭😭 oh my GOOOOOOOODDDD i always have had the urge to become a priest lowk but catholicism makes it complicated 😒😒
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
hiiii!!!!!! monthly art reuqest form bramalamania.... and yes ill draw something for you in return of course!!! might i reuqest....... my pookie wookie isidore...... 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😊🥰😊🥰😊🥰🥰😊🥰 thank yuo thank yuo THANK uo a million pearlypoo....🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵😊🩵😊🩵😊🩵🩵😊🩵😊🩵😊🩵😊
BRAM BELOVED HELLOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
HERE IS YOUR CHILD ISIDORE <33 SORRY FOR THE DELAY i was busy with.... mysterious evil plans....... for world domination........
may i be so bold as to perchance request ummmmmm ah maybe hmmmm my character Emery? :3
he is a self concerned governmental scientist!! though I think you might already know him from my plot rundown of Potočnik on the @lab-grown-star blog <33
OH MY GOD THATS HIM. THATS ISIDORE. THATS HIM😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IN THE FLESH!!!! paper? AND YES OF COURSE ILL DRAW THAT EVIL MOTHERFUCKER😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 <3333 Ill NEVER forgive him for how he treats Quinn but ITS OK😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 I look past sins🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 He will be a GREAT victim for my rendering practice!!!!! yauayauayy
@mossysjournal @unfortune-ly @stup1dvoid @urfriendlyneighborhoodbiderman + anyone who wants to share their opinion! I think I may know what some of you will say
