My Transition Journal

(almost) 9 months on T

The fast changes are behind me now, so I don’t pay as much attention to them as I used to, which is also why I post less. But not paying attention to the details means I’ve become aware of the slower changes, like body and face shape. My body has actually changed a lot. The fat on my hips and chest is slowly disappearing, and I’ve put on some muscle. Since coming out I’ve gained 10kg, half of it after starting T, and I no longer want to shrink myself out of my own skin. I have to shave twice a week to not look like mr. fluffy. When I touch my face I can actually feel that I’m present, that I’m a physical being, that I’m not outside my body looking at it like a stranger. After 9 months I’m finally starting to settle in my body after a decade of not feeling connected.

23.12.2016 (7 ½ months on T)

Switch to intramuscular injections

I saw an endocrinologist at the national hospital on october 19th, talked a bit, and took a blood sample, and that was it. Since I was already on T everything was pretty straightforward. A week later I got a letter saying my results were good and that I had recieved a digital prescription for Nebido (long lasting IM injection of T). I picked up the vial at a pharmacy (it was free!), set up an appointment at my doctors office and a few days later all 4ml of it got injected in my butt, 2ml on each side. I’m pretty good with needles, and the pain was almost nothing compared to the septum piercing I got the week before, so that was good. 

5 months on T today !

So I just realized I forgot to do my 4 month update, so these are changes that have happened in the last 2 months. First of all my voice has really dropped now, and I think because of it I pass most of the time. Hairs are coming in all over my chin and sideburns as well now, but its all blonde and quite soft still. Basically I’m just slowly becoming completely covered in hair, my thighs have caught up with my calves in hairiness, and my forearm hair is getting darker. And even without going to the gym (cause I have a fucked up rib), I can still notice that it’s a lot easier to gain muscle now, it happens almost without me doing anything. I also think I’m seeing the first signs of fat redistributions but its barely noticeable so I really can’t say, might just be muscle changes.

But I think the most important thing might be how calm I am now, like I actually notice how I can feel all my muscles being completely relaxed at random times throughout the day and I’m just so fascinated by that feeling. And for the first time I don’t have a physical lump of anxiety in my stomach at all.

3 months on T!

So I tried binding with kinesiology tape and it worked pretty well for me! Unfortunately the store only had blue, but I’m gonna try to find a nude colored tape soon. It doesn’t get me as flat as my gc2b binders, and there’s no way I could pass as cis while being shirtless with this, but I still think it’s a good solution for when I’m with friends I trust. Also the tape is waterproof, so I could swim in this, and it stays on for multiple days (through showering) and is really comfy.