too busy to start a cult

So currently I answer to my full first name (which I usually introduce myself with) as well as two nicknames/diminutives plus my last name when people mistake it for a first name. There are two or three other nicknames I've also gone by in the past. I'm perfectly fine with this, or neutral at minimum-- I have a common name and have had to be flexible with how I'm distinguished for my whole life. I also don't feel a deep and fundamental connection of my name with my identity, though I think going by another name entirely would confuse me.

A number of friends have been appalled at me being called names I don't say are my name. Which is really weird to me, although I'd go to battle for anyone else who was getting either deadnamed or called something they didn't want. But this perspective seems surprisingly common!

Tomorrow (7/14) is the 10th anniversary of Marielda! We're going to be celebrating live on twitch at 6pm ET with a soundtrack listening party, a vinyl edition giveaway, and some multiplayer video games with the cast! www.patreon.com/friends_table/posts/marielda-10th-et-163715028

Join us at 6pm ET tonight! twitch.tv/friendsatthetable

the desire to have your political beliefs actualized in a way that is immediately tangible (e.g. battle jackets with patches loudly proclaiming your politics)

the desire to associate with others who share your political beliefs

the desire to be seen as "cool" / to feel like you're "cool"

the desire to believe that the people you see as cool also share your political beliefs

these things are understandable to me because i feel like most people have similar desires-- it's very human to want to be liked and to want to surround yourself with like-minded people, and to feel like you're making some sort of difference in the world. and on tumblr and other social media websites, there are a lot of young people who are struggling to find a sense of identity and community, who are (understandably) anxious about being hurt in a world that is full of bigotry. so, for these people, the label of "punk" is a way of rolling all of those desires into one package; whether or not they listen to actual punk music doesn't factor into it, because that's secondary to feeling like you're in community with a bunch of "cool" people who share your political beliefs.

when people say "supporting your public library is punk rock," i believe that this is rooted in these deeper anxieties. supporting public libraries is good, but just good isn't enough if what you want is to belong to a community of young bohemian counterculturalists who are all fundamentally kindhearted and will not hurt you. meanwhile, the punk scene will give you young bohemian counterculturalists, but the fact that there are punk nazis and racists and transphobes is very inconvenient to the desire to not be harmed. the conflict is very apparent: the (symbolic) library is often good but not inherently cool, while the (symbolic) punk is often cool but not inherently good. people don't want to hang out with the asshole skinhead at the punk show, but they don't necessarily want to hang out with the liberal christian grandma on the library board either.

You don't have to date. You don't have to stop being friends. You can just keep hanging out. Self control and respect exists.