We can improve our blowjobs.With artificial intelligence and machine learning

I’m not letting some robot take MY JOB

reblog to put a weighted blanket on the person u reblog this from

This is called direct registering and it is super cool to watch in slow motion!

their front paws have whisker like hairs on them, a little bit behind the pad, so they have greater sensory input on their front paws and so can ensure a sure footing once, putting their hind paws on directly the same spot means that, for the same processing power and focus, they can ensure sure footing on all four paws with only two sets of foot whiskers.

[video id: a short-haired white cat walks in slow motion along the crest of a sand dune, placing her hind paws directly into the indents left by her front paws of the same side so she leaves only a single set of tracks. She then turns to walk down the side of the dune, slipping a bit in the loose sand and beginning to run, but still maintaining her direct registering. end id]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

Booty (licious)

Pussy (vicious)

Cock (nutritious)

Tits (malicious)

Merry (christmas)

When I say I have a priest kink I mean I want to be so sexy I turn a man away from god

the cdc recommends you take a huge bong rip actually

Source?

the cdc

I honestly forgot I had packed a bowl, so don’t say the CDC is good for nothing

Oh finally. A real Christian.

dinosaurs lived and died and they have nothing to show for it………………..

they didn’t serve cunt is the problem