DEAR READER
Sade Olutola
if i look back, i am lost
Keni
wallacepolsom
ellievsbear
cherry valley forever
we're not kids anymore.
will byers stan first human second
Mike Driver
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
#extradirty
occasionally subtle
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
$LAYYYTER
Love Begins
trying on a metaphor
Discoholic đŞŠ
Andulka
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@bllury
My art blog is
https://at.tumblr.com/chloeisdoingthings/bmi589lfjwkb
So yeah! If you want to see, mostly fan art or the random shit I do in my free time, go there
Currently watching heated rivalry, and lowkey live blogging it because I always have a comment to make
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this is fucking killing me bro. computah, show me more hot hockey firefighters whaling on cops
Simon's stretch marks
Grace will never stop talking
stop. analyse that text through the lens of its author's intentions and original historical context. okay now take the author out back and kill them dead and analyse that text as though it were published by your mutual yesterday and is in direct conversation with the contemporary discourse that's most relevant to your life. okay now pick your favorite angle of interpretation and come up with the strongest possible argument against it. now imagine that the text is your best friend and that it means you well and that you naturally give it every benefit of the doubt because you're on its side and you want the best for it. now imagine that the text wants you dead and it'll eat you if you don't eat it first. now pretend that you found this text locked away in a cave with no evidence of when or where it came from and you have to divine its meaning solely through its internal coherence and nothing else. okay now address the elephant in the room aspect of the text you've been ignoring because you find it boring or confusing or uncomfortable and become the number one expert on it. now spend forty minutes assigning all the characters dnd classes with at least three sentences of reasoning each. okay now do the cha cha slide.
I mean it was last year but omg thank you đĽ°đ
I see mentions of Ryland being flustered by Simon's man tits. But I see no mention of tit fucking.
Let Ryland tit fuck Simon's tits.
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hollanov at their kidâs autism assesment and the doctor says that autism can be genetic and asks if anyone in the family has autism and shane says no at the same time as ilya says yes
what if shane started doing yoga to increase his flexibility because after his first time with ilya his hip flexors hurt more than anything else. but he loooooved getting folded in half like that so much (and the look that ilya always gets when theyâre pressed that much closer to each other) that he decided he just needed to get better at being bendy and yoga seemed like a good way to do that. so he asked both the goalie AND the physical therapist for the metros on ways to improve flexibility, especially in his hips, but then he had to come up with a reason why he was asking on the spot bc he obviously couldnât just tell them it was so he could be better at bottoming for his arch fucking rival and itâs not like he was going to change positions on the ice and start playing goalie, so he panicked and made up something about bad hips running in his dadâs family and he didnât want to have to get a hip replaced in his late 30s so he was trying to get ahead of it.
so the pt gives him some specific stretches to do (some of which will also improve his already impressive back arch) but also recommends he take up yoga, and shane rolls his eyes about it later in his car (because doing it in front of the pt would be rude) but then he figures âwhat the hell, canât hurt to tryâ and finds that he actually really likes it. it makes his brain calm down a bit, itâs not totally quiet up there but it feels more like a manageable trickle of thoughts instead of the uncontrollable tsunami that his brain usually feels like. itâs nice, he can focus on the stretch of his muscles and the way that the constant vice-like pressure in his chest loosens a bit. plus, if it will make his hookups with ilya even better, itâs gotta be worth it.
of course, ilya has no idea that shane took up yoga essentially for him, and shaneâs never going to tell him because he knows ilya will tease him about it for the rest of their lives. but every time that ilya pushes his knees up to his chest when theyâre getting down and dirty he gets a little spark of satisfaction and accomplishment in his chest knowing that he did this for them, he put in the work to make these moments even better. heâll put up with ilyaâs chirps about how boring he is when he does his yoga because he knows itâs so worth it.
Look at his face! His eyes. He is trying so so so hard to be so chill. So nonchalant. "Don't look down. Turn the volume down. Don't look at him yet. He might disappear. Be cool. Don't spook him." And oh my god he is not chill in the slightest. He is so touched that Shane seems to care. He asked about the girls thing and it didn't go well so he's taking this as a sign that maybe Shane does care. It goes downhill in like 5 minutes but you know.
And then:
He settles in a bit and he looks almost almost relaxed. But he still can't look! And the barely-there jaw flex, shoving down the emotions. Looking makes it too real. Even though it's already very real for Ilya.
And then we get so brave because he wants to look! Memorize Shane laying on his chest. The weight of him. His smell. How his hair feels.
anyway good morning a crucial tenet of hollanovâs relationship is that theyâre equals and theyâre the only people in the world who could ever be each otherâs equal. they were supposed to stand alone at the top but theyâre there together. shane does not view ilya as a lazy useless inconvenience. ilya does not view shane as a nagging killjoy. they are equals and they both think the other is the best thing since sliced bread and they love each other but more importantly they LIKE each other. stop making them not like each other!
like ilya spends his entire life being told (by people objectively shittier than he is) that heâs not good enough, heâs lazy, heâs undisciplined, he lets people down. and then he meets the one person who would actually be in a position to assess whether ilya is any of those things, and shane just earnestly looks into his fucking soul and says no, they were wrong. âyouâre an awesome player to watchâ âi donât know that side of you at allâ âthis isnât what this is. me and youâ
and itâs such a fucking tragedy that people are trying to push MyIlya back into a setting where heâs constantly being lectured about his inadequacies by the very person that canonically reminds him all the time that those inadequacies were figments of his dadâs imagination
"crochet can't be made by machines" went from being a cool fun fact to being a call to action of "so if you see mass manufactured crochet in Target, that was made by a person and they were underpaid and you should boycott it" which is true, it was made by a person, but EVERY item of clothing you own (that you did not purchase from a company using ethical labor) was made by a person being underpaid (at *best*.)
Sewing machines are operated by *people*. Knitting machines are operated by *people*. Yes lots of the process is automated but you cannot tell a machine "make me a t-shirt" or "make me a knit cardigan".
Higher awareness of fast fashion, and the true human labor and abuse behind it, is GREAT, but let's not pretend that the crochet hat in target is THE problem. Every article of clothing in target is the problem. "All clothes are made by people" is the jumping off point here into understanding this issue it's not just crochet it's the whole thing ahhhhHHHHHHHHHH
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Cliff can't believe he didn't figure it out sooner. The strange move to Ottawa. How happy he's been. And most damming of all, "Jane", it fucking rhymes!
He watches a highlight reel of Ilya celebrating with his line and realizes he's just going to have to accept it.
Ilya was in love with Zane Boodram.
ilya would be so happy to be a trophy wife like shane has an important business conference thing he has to attend with important business people and ilya would put on his sluttiest little suit that matches shaneâs and he leaves the first three buttons on his shirt undone and he links his arm with shaneâs and when shane is talking serious businessâ˘ď¸ with some guy ilya goes and finds him another one of those sparkly little drinks and sometimes people want to talk serious business with ilya and while he could do that he just says you should go ask my husband heâs over there while he devours the rest of the sliders at the buffet
I want a friendship between Shane and Cliff Marleau (sort of like an extrovert adopts an introvert type of thing). Pre-outing, theyâre close enough that Shane comes out to him.
âHey,â Cliff says, suddenly struck with the best idea heâs ever had. âI think I know someone youâd get along great with.â
âMarleau, Iâm not really lookingââ
âNo, no, trust me. Heâs a good guy, and one of the best hockey players Iâve ever metâaside from you, of course.â
Shane isnât sure where Cliff is going with this, but he does know heâs not interested in anyone but Ilya.
âI know you mean well butââ
âRozanov,â Cliff announces, grin a mile wide, and Shane blinks. Cliff, for his part, is incredibly sure this is a good idea; he knows that Ilya is bisexual, even if he doesnât talk about it. Even Cliff is aware of the dangers with Russia. Even if the rest of the league hates it, they can fuck off.
Mistaking Shaneâs silence for skepticism, Cliff continues, âI know he seems like an asshole, but heâs one of the best men youâll ever meet. I know youâve seen itâthe whole rivalry thing is bullshit anyways, right? Heâs actually a big softieâŚâ
Cliff talks up Ilya, and Shane smiles, glad that Ilya has such a good friendâeven though he isnât sure how to tell Cliff that he and Ilya are already an item.
I think the first time Ilya sees Shane really crying, like actually shedding tears, it would break his brain a little bit.
Because Shane's eyes sometimes get shiny but he never actually lets the tears fall. Even when he's overcome with emotion, this is still something he keeps tight control over, just another extension of the mastery he constantly practices over his body.
Except one day they're in an argument and it gets pretty nasty. They're both crossing the line and being so fucking mean, and then Ilya says something that hits Shane so hard that the tears just start immediately spilling over. Shane turns away, wiping his eyes, angry now at himself for letting this happen. For letting himself lose control like this.
And Ilya is instantly not mad anymore. He's shocked and miserable and most of all guilty because he just made Shane cry. Shane, who he's never seen shed a single tear. What kind of a monster does that??
Shane can't see how hard this hit him because he's still turned away but then Ilya is meekly asking him to please, let me hold you, I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry. And the lingering hurt in Shane's chest is mostly replaced by surprise because this isn't how their fights go, usually they just snipe at each other until they feel like having sex about it instead.
But he lets Ilya hold him and even lets him kiss away his tears even though it's humiliating as hell. Ilya just looks too fucking sad not to. Shane starts to apologize for crying but this just makes Ilya look even sadder because now he's making his boyfriend feel guilty about crying oh god, he really is the worst.
in a reasonable canon, shane would simply have THEE most dependent and intimate relationship with the montreal team nutritionist. like, he has her on speed dial. they text multiple times per day. she spends 60% of her work hours adjusting meal plans for his texture issues and aversions. nobody else really sees how intense their connection is.
when he was crashing out about trading to ottawa, he said, "You know, it's just gonna be really hard to leave melissa," and hayden was sitting right there like. "melissa?? it's gonna be hard to leave MELISSA??"
but i think we can probably convince melissa to move to ottawa with him, don't worry.
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Rose helping Shane put on makeup as a treat for Ilya because he remembers how 'pretty' Ilya found him during the CCM shoot.
He's not wearing enough to even be noticeable really, just enough to make his features pop.
So when Ilya gets home and sees Shane he does a bit of a double-take and his breath hitches in a way that makes Shane's heart stutter.
"My Shane, you are beautiful today," he says stepping closer. "Of course you are always beautiful but today something is wow." His ears flush red as he gestures with his hands for emphasis. "Sorry, English is not so easy now. You are taking my breath."
And Shane takes a step even closer, so that his thigh slots between Ilya's, and grinds just enough to feel him through his jeans.
"You're saying it's hard, baby?"
And that's all the invitation Ilya needs.
"So hard."
