jade hyunafan

if i were in charge of star wars i would end the last movie witth yoda reading the story out of a big book and he gives a little chuckle and says "happened, none of that did." and then he gets out of his truck and waddles into walmart

I'm apparently so consistently aroace that a friend of mine uses me as a measurement for whether or not something counts as "romantic," based on when I stop understanding what he's talking about.

@otiksimr

i was conceptualized as a cartoon character but god fucked up and put me in a human body. i was supposed to be a 2D moving 24 frames a second of a cat or a butterfly that could just walk off being smashed flat and be able too look into the camera and wink as it irised out no qualms about it but no instead i've got bones that are viable to aching and some kind of paranoid personality disorder

Remember when you could look things up online. Do you remember how we used to search

the worst part of christmas is that santa’s elves are only called that because they’re gnomes, which are a dwarven culture known for their use of the phrygian cap and their republican rejection of monarchy, and dwarves, also referred to as svartálfar, are a species of elvenid within the elf-clade. but nobody talks about this, because elf cladistics aren’t generally relevant to christmas stories and children can hardly be expected to grasp the nuances of extrahominid taxonomy anyways.

the second worst part of christmas is the strong as fuck ice mummy

costco should sell weed i want to smoke kirkland signature strain

ooh thank god

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still