i cant jerk to this if it isnt historically accurate its too distracting #LOWKEY

fuuuuck I'm glowing pink in the night in my room again. fuuuuck

jobs for women who prioritise taking it easy and chillaxing forever

happy pride to losers who get no bitches and stack no paper

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

“touch of the ‘tism” = punishable offense

tumblr mutuals will truly be obsessed with anyone. there is a guy out there with 1 fan worldwide and that fan is your tumblr mutual

they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

stop thinking with your dick and start thinking with your pussy. ok now stop thinking with your pussy and start thinking with your dick again. meditate on the differences between them. call me back when you get it.

8 hours of decent sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a beautiful horse and i will never die'

2 hours of bad sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a stranded whale and i need to be covered in dynamite in an ill-advised attempt to clear the beach'