THE LAND IS ONE

but even though like a quarter of it DOES take place in an epistolary online form across reddit/blogspot/discord/tumblr/kiwifarms/articles in the cut there is still the remaining 75% which is unmistakeably written as a novel and only works as a novel. Sad!!!!!! oh well.

im going so robespierre mode fr today’s excerpts that had me pacing around in my mind palace in a cold sweat. he searched his face for malice or levity and saw none……. I’M NOT SO LONELY NOW 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

it’s about characters who grow up in montreal’s insular jewish community so like. They do be going to israel. the chapter is set during a March Of The Living program which is a truly vile propagandist mission where for one week jewish high school students are flown to poland to do a nonstop concentration camp tour and intentionally put in as traumatized a state as possible and then the next week they are taken to israel to get their brains stuffed with violent pudding. if you go to jewish day school in montreal or toronto it is essentially mandatory to do this program. there are of course thematic and character reasons why i included it but also, zionism is mandated to be such a big part of their lives and that community that to shy away from showing that would be naive and hedgy.

-entire chapter that takes place in israel

that’s very kind ❤️ but to be honest self publishing sounds like my personal hell for real. I am a horrible self marketer already and it would not succeed. but i am also very prideful and would be a bit sad about it. i think i do yearn for the laurels and structure of “real” publishing even though i know it is not actually glamorous at all 😭. I might try later this year with some small presses that take direct subs, idk. we’ll see where the wind blows i suppose ✌️

i queried it A lot and did not have success. there is still a slim chance i suppose, still waiting for a few agents to get back to me, but i’ve kind of accepted my fate at this point lol. it is certainly not “commercial fiction” and would likely only have very niche appeal in the best of circumstances… and who knows, maybe it’s just not very good! but oh well i’m only 25 i’ll get over it (<- coping)

how it feels to be a 25 year old blogger