Poolboy At The Vampire Mansion

My ancestors died because they were born a long time ago

epic rap battle of herstory

scarry spider (woman) versus yucky animal (

free the nipple has to make a resurgence for a number of reasons but bro look at our upcoming eternity of wet bulb temps youre smoking straight up cock if you think im keeping a shirt on when it hits 105° in new england

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.

(three decades into my life) sorry I wasn’t paying attention, can we start again?

There is no greater bond on this earth than when you all despise and carry untold righteous anger about one person and then when you’re all together someone is like “so about that dead horse” and everyone starts sounding like Michael Jackson with the way they’re chanting beat it

It's okay to end your novel with the murderer getting a hot girlfriend.

we need to start legally protecting these like make this kind of bathroom part of the national park system