Shane getting criticized for not using pride tape and he’s caught on a mic later that week saying I didn’t realize it wasn’t the sucking dick that made me gay but the rainbow . Which is how he comes out.

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@bitridragon
Shane getting criticized for not using pride tape and he’s caught on a mic later that week saying I didn’t realize it wasn’t the sucking dick that made me gay but the rainbow . Which is how he comes out.

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agoraphobia /ăg″ər-ə-fō′bē-ə, ə-gôr″ə-/
The fear of wide open spaces, crowds, or uncontrolled social conditions.
AUgust: K-pop Demon Hunters au. Aloy, Zo, and Alva are a K-pop band fighting the Zeniths. Varl is their media guy, I don’t know about the others yet haha
I saw another post discussing what people’d like to see from Role Model and The Long Game in season 2 so here’s mine and I’m going to say this once and with my whole chest:
Absolutely fucking nothing
Okay one thing… at the end of episode 6
HEAR ME OUT!
There are three years between the end of Heated Rivalry and the start of The Long Game during which books 3 & 4 take place THAT is what I think season 2 should be about
‘But Bitri’ you say ‘the shows called Heated Rivalry it’s about Shane and Ilya’
I KNOW THIS
The following happen to Shane and Ilya in that time in no particular order:
Shane comes out to his team
Ilya plays his last season in Boston
Hayden figures them out
The events of My Dinner with Hayden
Roz moves to Ottawa
They launch the Irina Foundation
Shane wins another (2 more?) cup (cups?) (he’s got 3 by the time The Long Game starts)
JJ clocks Shane’s ‘crush’ on Ilya & starts trying to set him up with other men
The opening the relationship argument
Ilya meets Rose?(this might be fanon)
Most of which HAPPENS OFF PAGE!
So, without further ado, how I would space season 2’s episodes if I were in charge, which I am not
Episode 1:
Open with the final scene of Heated Rivalry the book, the one on the dock at the cottage
Establish that The Plan is to not come out til they’re both retired
Ilya’s plan to propose on the dock with the candles
There’s laughter
there’s joy
There’s hurtles, hockey culture still sucks sometimes
Cut to Ilya arriving in Boston for the 2017/2018 season
Him deciding NOT to correct his teammates when they ask how Russia was, beginning his canon self isolation, like he just never talks to these people again?
Montage of: games, meet ups, BOTH OF THEM saying they can’t wait til ilyas in Ottawa and they can see each other more
Ilya & yuna & david being awkward with one another
Ilya meets Rose
Shane meets Svetlana?(this I’m iffy on)
The discussion of their sexual histories
The opening the relationship argument & its resolution
Shane coming out to the Metros
More games?/the 2018 playoffs
End on Hayden clocking their shit & Shane’s chronic inability to lie
Episode 2:
Open with the events of My Dinner with Hayden
Hayden says ‘whatever Rozanov, you’re still a dick’
Hard cut to Ryan Price pep-talking HIS dick
The beginning of Tough Guy
Bennet divorce, probably a seemingly throw away line, just someone casually mentioning it, these men gossip that is established in Role Model when Troy already knows Shane’s gay even though he’s only out to his team
The epilogue of Heated Rivalry, ie. the Irina Foundation press conference
Including Hayden covering for Hollanov so they can make out in a bathroom
Episode 3:
Open with the gym scene from Tough Guy where Toronto watches the press conference
Introduction of Troy Barrett
Finish out the events of Tough Guy interspersed with Shane and Ilya adjusting to being closer
VERY IMPORTANT: in the wise words of Jacob tierney ‘Ilya is an empath who clocks your struggle’ so the funeral scene and him and Ryan skipping all stars to go better fucking be included
Include scenes of Ilya getting to know & bonding with his new team, but establish that seeing Shane as often as he can is his priority
JJ’s first attempt to set Shane up
Ilya’s Nick Fury moment recruiting Ryan Price to be a coach for the camps
Ryan Price walking in on Hollanov and deciding he didn’t see that actually
Episode 4:
Here’s where options start to happen cuz my episode 4 can open a couple ways
Skip proposal
Skip engagement party
I’m partial to Skip engagement party
Sometime during that party someone, doesn’t matter who gives Bennet condolences about the divorce
Kyle is sad about unrequited crush getting engaged
Kyle and Eric flirt some, ruined by Eric still wearing his wedding ring
Eric buys some art, stops wearing his ring, makes sure Kyle knows that he’s been divorced for a year, wait why does he care about that
JJ continues to try to give Shane these men’s numbers
Ilya ‘NHL/MLH/whatever it’s called in this universe’s bisexual fairy godfather’ Rozanov clocks Bennetts shit
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: he is visibly upset that he cannot respond ‘bisexual! This is great! Me too!’ When Eric comes out to him
Maybe not visible to Eric but to us
Because as good as things are, and they’re good, this was The Plan, this is what they wanted this is what he wanted
Ilya has been in Ottawa a year and his teammates are not his friends, they know fuck all about him, he is isolated there
This is no one’s fault it just is, it’s The Plan(tm)
We don’t come out til we retire, that is The Plan it’s not fair for him to change it, it’s not fair for him to WANT to change it right? Right?
So he says nothing, and shits starts to fester, cuz why can Scott and Eric have that and we can’t
I want that
He wants and wants and wants and that’s so selfish right?
ITS NOT THE PLAN ROZANOV
HOW DARE YOU!?
THE PLAN!
LAST TIME YOU TRIED TO CHANGE THE PLAN SHANE RAN AWAY!
TO ROSE FUCKING LANDRY!
YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE PLAN ILYA!
THE PLAN IS GOD
Ends on first Kyle/Eric kiss
Episode 5:
Episode 5 covers Kyle/Eric friends-with-benefits situationship
Maybe a montoge of this 40yo bisexual learning about queer culture and gay sex
By having gay sex
They see some art, they have some dates, all is well
Meanwhile, Scott is wedding planning & hockey playing & not in the closet
So he is seeing things, seeing things with his eyes and we’re seeing him see things with his eyes
Eric finds out about the Kyle & his shithead boss situation and backs the fuck off(this is a mistake & (important!) a choice made without Kyle)
Episode 6:
Once again we have choices:
The skip wedding
the Eric/Kyle ‘I’m not good for you’ ‘what no you’re perfect for me’ breakup(if it doesn’t open episode 6 it’d have to close episode 5)
Remember when Scott was seeing things with his eyes, yeah let’s discuss that Bennett(this is dependent on the breakup happening in episode 5)
I’d open with either the break up or the Scott convo b/c the spacing/timing/runtime of it all
Probably the breakup
Then Scott seeing the misery with his eyes & doing something about it
Like all of episode 6 can’t be the wedding, not unless we’re watching the whole ceremony and procession, which, I’m sorry, just isn’t relevant to the plot
And I’d have the bread and butter of the episode be the wedding
Everyone’s happy
Everyone’s together
Everyone’s gossiping
Wedding gossip includes:
does is Adrian Dela Cruz is gay? He gives that vibe
Ryan Prices boyfriend released a new single and HOLY SHIT is it gay
You ever notice that Hollander and Rozanov have invited every out queer player in the league to coach at their camps? They’re such good allies
Did you hear Brandon Wiebe is gonna be coaching in Ottawa? He’s young for that right? (Did he & Eric actually play a year on the same team or is that fanon?)
Epilogue-ish scene where Kip, who never finds out about that pesky unrequited crush his friend had on him, calls Kyle & is like ‘omg I know you’re on vacation with your hot older boyfriend, but I’ve gotta tell you the hockey goss!’
Dallas Kent has been accused of sexual assault
Troy Barrett has been traded to Ottawa
End credits
Obviously any hockey montages can include Shane and Ilya cameos ala episode 3 ‘Hunter’
Hypothetical season 3 would cover the events of Role Model and The Long Game
A relatively messy study/fanart for project hail mary, the last month has really awakened my inner space loving child again
Also fun fact, while drawing Man of war by Radiohead started randomly playing which i think is very veru fitting for this

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They make me sick btw
k but imagine Rocky wanting to learn about how humans became the apex predators of their planet so he has Grace “hunt” him in the biodome as an experiment and during it he thinks Grace isn’t trying or taking it seriously which is bad bad bad because this is for research purposes
only for Rocky to get more and more tired as the experiment goes on just to realize that Grace isn’t which makes him panic so he puts as much distance as he can between them and finds a (hopefully) safe spot to sleep and when he wakes up the human is crouching over him like “got youuu” and Rocky has never shrieked so damn loud before in his life
Grace goes swimming! Rocky is not thrilled.
Eridians cant "hold their breath" like humans do, their vents dont close completly so water can still get in, if they fall in water they drown and die. safe to say rocky is not a fan of when grace does it for fun xD
(i got the inspo for this from this fic: Enrichment by alatarmaia4, please check it out it is so funny)
More art of Rocky Stressing™️ about human biology
"grace. grace! grace give attention. rocky perform human ritual of escape closet now. statement."
"come again?"
"i learn more from thinking machine. human gender preference. attraction to same gender, means word 'gay.' all eridian same gender." rocky stands straight up. "rocky come out to grace now. all rocky plural gay, statement."
"...wow, that's... rock, i'm not sure it makes much sense to apply human ideas of sexual orientation to a monogendered species."
a long and judgmental pause. then:
"grace HOMOPHOBIC, question????"
Earth’s Scapegoat and her Sacrificial Lamb

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Suddenly thinking of 1989’s The Little Mermaid and you know what, give Eric some props here because he had the weirdest fucking hour of his life—
Wakes up from hypnosis where he was about to marry a woman he’s never seen before with his mystery girl’s voice, the instant he wakes up then the cute girl he’s actually fallen in love with now has that voice. Then she drops to the floor and has a fish tail, and then the first girl is suddenly cackling “too late!” and bursting out of her skin. So it turns out she’s actually an octopus woman who drags herself over to the real mystery girl - who’s a mermaid?! They’re real?! - and taking her back into the ocean. And Eric has no idea what’s going on here but okay, one of these women is clearly evil and he needs to go after his mystery girl.
And all of this happens/he realizes what he has to do within like, a single minute.
Prior to this he was just living out a sweet romance after having a Meet Cute with a shipwrecked girl, but okay, guess he’s involved in whatever the fuck this is. Acting first, questioning later.
And this is all before the kaiju attacks.
hail mary, full of--
ITS GREAT LAKES AWARENESS DAY!!!!!
On this excellent day, be aware that this is the largest group of freshwater lakes in the world, covering over 95,000 square miles and reaching depths of over a thousand feet. They are beautiful freshwater seas.
Also when you die in these lakes, the very cold, oxygen-poor conditions at the bottom preserves you perfectly for all eternity. You will not rot and nothing will eat you. You will exist for as long as the Great Lakes do. Many shipwrecks still have the crew on board. Be Aware.
that last paragraph only applies to Lake Superior, the northernmost Great Lake! to be fair though, Superior is bigger than all of the other Great Lakes combined.
and that's not to say that the other Great Lakes aren't equally dangerous! each of these things earned the 'Great' descriptor for a reason, and the only reason they aren't all classified as inland seas is because they're not salty.
Lake Michigan in particular is really good at creating waterlogged corpses and hiding them in weird places, and every single Great Lake is full of shipwrecks and ghost stories.
and you know what? 10/10 I would let these things eat me anyways.
be aware!
fun optional addition, LAKE SUPERIOR VS THE EAST COAST
you could drown an entire small country in this thing
Great Lakes Awareness Day is May 5th this year!
LET'S GO LAKE WHO NEVER GIVES UP HER DEAD LET'S GO!!!
Great Lakes Awareness Day for 2026 is May 4. You only have a few days to get ready!
My scheduled reblog worked perfectly!
Now I just have to decide how I will observe Great Lakes Awareness Day.
Well hot damn! I am always aware of the lakes, but now I’ll be extra aware
I will always say that:
The only thing Arya should have been exploring was Lord Gendry of Storm's End.
Maybe we saw the real shrimp colours this whole time.

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Clanker Hunters for april's patreon!!
Ilya meeting Shane's parents must be insane for them like. Mr Ilya "The Terminator" Rozanov, terror on ice and menace in bed, politely stands there. Your very shy son admonishes him for using the word "lovers" and Russia's Greatest Rage Machine just takes it.
You ask when this started and Mister Dickhead makes sure Shane is accurate about when they started this. How dare you stave off half a year of us, Shane?
You ask if they talked to Scott Hunter and Ra Ra Rasputin says that he, famous asshole extraordinaire went to talk to Patron Saint of Hockey Gays to offer him congratulations.
You ask if he has no loyalty to Boston and Mr Fucking Fuck San Francisco is like. Nyet
Your son is having a panic attack and Miike Snow Genghis Khan calls them "boyfriends" and it's your own extremely shy and sensitive and loving son that is like MY WHAT