aviary of mana

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

it's thousand yard stare summer

and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team

“Insisting that your needs are the only needs anyone should have is not a safe space, it’s its own act of violence.”

“fandom should be a safe space” applies more towards allowing people to explore topics without ridicule and, more importantly, accurately tagging/warning your fandom involvement so others can adequately block/blacklist certain topics. others are not responsible for your involvement, only theirs, and same for you. they tag characters and warnings, and so do you. that’s what makes the world go ‘round.

Apparently a lot of people think “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” means something specific. It’s usually used on fics with darker themes, but it’s not a code word for any specific theme. It literally just means pay attention to the tags and notes because the fic is exactly what it says it is.