Chargers, horns up!

One is the Force Equivalent of Baby Jesus that Goes Bad, becomes All Powerful, Bags a Hottie, Accomplishes Impossible Feats and has a Redemtion through Death arc.

You have a big work project?

I feel like you can sort of tell how long (or not) someone has existed in fannish spaces by how outraged they get about things like this. Like rings in a tree trunk lol. I've been in so many fandoms. At least one, but often multiple at the same time, since I was a teenager. I've seen just. Everything.

Sex pollen. Mpreg. Incest. Monster fucking. Tentacles. Pairings like Snape/Hermione that would be crazy abusive and illegal if they were real. Wild kinks. The babygirlification of all kinds of villains. So much RPF (the 'I sincerely believe they are secretly a couple' kind and the 'this is fictional but it's fun to imagine they're in love' kind.)

DO

celebrate other people's good news (tell them that what happened was great, they earned/deserve it, you're happy for them, elaborate on how it's a good thing and why they deserve to be happy about it)

sympathize with other people's troubles (tell them what they're going through sucks, they did their best, point out that not all is lost (use examples of what they still have going for them) but it can still fucking suck)

react and ask questions related to what people say to you (ask for elaborations or explanations, ask about future plans, ask how things went before, relate the things they've said now to things they've said in the past, use their name sometimes, add your own (positive or neutral) perspective on the events, share related experiences)

if someone is instigating a fight or pissing you off, just walk away -- or, if it's all online, block them (it'll make you look better, i promise)

ask about their day/state and pay attention to what they say, and apply the first three as needed

snark or make jokes/puns, if you have them, and be willing to laugh at other people's jokes/snark/puns

share good events, interesting things, and the things that make you happy/excited (try not to 'qualify' these, i.e. add on reasons why you should be sad about the news, or why the news wasn't actually that great -- it's not the end of the world if you do, but it does defeat the purpose a bit)

share bad events or things you're unhappy about (it's important to open up, and it's unreasonable to expect yourself to be happy all the time; just make sure it's balanced out by the positives as well)

remember that nobody does things that are senseless, and the sooner you can figure out why someone is doing what they're doing, the easier it'll be to deal with and negotiate (common reasons for baffling or harmful actions are: distress, self-interest, misguided altruism, unquestioned biases, peer pressure, thoughtlessness)

keep in mind that everyone (including you) is doing their best at any given time, and sometimes that 'best' just isn't that good

TRY NOT TO

be harsh about or insult yourself (keeping in mind that that is taking side swipes at other people who have those traits, regardless of how you mean it)

point out why people should feel bad about the things they're happy about

ignore all the specifics of what the person you're speaking with is saying

spend a significant amount of time mocking other people (we all need to vent and we all have our moments; the operative word here is significant -- don't make it your personality)

put down to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity (don't assume someone is being cruel when they could just as well be doing it because they're dumb/oblivious)

dismiss or belittle other people's distress (it's not a competition, and their distress is real regardless)

dismiss or belittle other people's happiness or interest (it's not a competition, and their happiness is something you want in order to Not Be Mean)

(this is both non-exhaustive and not ironclad, simply a list of general things to aim for and skills to practice)

Be prepared to laugh at yourself in harmless situations.

If you are playing a game and someone else wins, be happy for them

If you are playing a game and you win, don't gloat but also don't apologise for winning. Be a gracious winner

If you are uncertain if someone is open to being gently teased about something or if it's a touchy subject, you can ask them. (e.g. at an event over the weekend one of my friends got a bit white-girl wasted. Asking the next day if she was okay revealed that no, she was not, and it would not be a good time to joke about it, and instead she wanted reassurance that she hadn't done anything 'too embarrassing'.)

Mixed results from the Americans because this shit is legal in only 30 states and almost impossible to get past a zoning committee so while they exist, they're extremely localized. Lots of yelling at Ohio.

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Saskatchewan: "What's insane to me is that you have these with the population density you have. What am I going to hit in Turtleford?"

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Bahia and Sao Paulo: "I'm stunned we don't have these tbh."

Prague: "We have these in my city, but only for boats."

Manaus: "My uncle has one of these! He also has a window on the other side so you can drive your boat up too :)"

(much Brazilian and Czech high-fiving)

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Brisbane: "There's an astonishing level of trust being displayed that people aren't just going to open a beer immediately"

Tallahassee: "Oh no, there is 100% cop camped like half a mile down the road to arrest people who didn't stow the booze correctly."

Brisbane: "Oh it's an invasive policing operation! Yeah, that's the USA."

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Newcastle: "No, this looks correct for the country that has bears breaking into your house". (The Australians and Africans have a bit where every time someone mentions their wildlife, they mass @me (who had a bear in my house) and the guy from Singapore whose mom adopted a wild water monitor and says it's her favorite son now)

The aforementioned Singaporean: "How am I exposed to an onslaught of your media and culture at all times and you STILL find new ways to horrify me?"

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Vatican City: "You can ride your bike through the brewery to get beer but the abbot in charge doesn't like it"

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Jakarta: "We don't have this because we're Muslim but we do have drive-thru Marijuana"

Kyoto: "We don't have these because we have public transportation. You can buy liquor from vending machines at the stations though."

Munich: "We don't have these because we are disciplined enough to pack our beer with us if we are going somewhere that drinking is acceptable, or there will be beer at that location when we arrive."

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India: "Why have drive-thru Liquor, when you can have liquor delivered to your vehicle? GET ON OUR LEVEL" (no less than nine different images from across the country of people in trucks that have been specifically modified to operate the business of driving up to other vehicles in traffic and selling them liquor)

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Pudasjävi: "...I should open one of these."

Everyone: "NO!!!"

Also, because this is incredibly important to Bond for some reason, she needs to be an incredibly predatory, womanizing lesbian. Some perfectly happy married straight woman needs to become gay by the end of the movie.