nice try!

kinda nervous about something. don’t know what it is yet

3-5 turkey vultures will soon be dispatched to your location.

i bet girls hated it in 1902 cuz you would constantly go on dates w guys who are working on an invention to present at the world fair

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

i be like “it is what it is” then be pissed off for like 4 years

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

like whoopie goldberg said I don’t want somebody in my house

rebecca black was right. It’s Friday

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

everyone lets give it up for our women who play sports! ! ! ! !men can drink bugs or something

nip over to troy, bit of rough and tumble, big horse, bish bash bosh, back home to ithaca. simple as

who else is up permanently feeling like they did something Wrong

Men don’t go heyyyybatterbatterswingbatterbatterswing like they used to anymore

love this person knowing enough about baseball to know about the pitch clock and not enough to even approximate the league’s acronym