Aris

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

if you disregard all of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary im actually great at doing things on time and according to plans

I’m slowly beginning to accept the reality that 2007 was not last year but in fact almost four years ago

is it too early or can we start screaming now

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

World Heritage Post

lower back pain is actually the root of all evil

no yeah you're right its the snoot of all snevil

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

i hate when apps know that i’m screenshotting something. when i screenshot something, that’s me acting outside your realm of understanding, app. i am beyond what you consider the observable universe. you’re not supposed to perceive me. we don’t know when god screenshots the earth. we don’t know when he’s like, “okay i’m just gonna take a pic in case i ever want to add dinosaurs back to something later and don’t remember how.” and if we did, we wouldn’t act all smug about it like, “hey, you wanna share that post? you could just click here to share it.” no, man. you didn’t catch me. i screenshotted this for my own reasons. what’s next? i can’t take a photo of my computer screen with my phone out of laziness without being shamed by the printer i don’t own?

people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now

The older this post gets the funnier it becomes

My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.

that’s how fucked up our world is now

all of this of course forgetting the one "Stable" relationship is two small lesbians who are so attached at the hip they literally fused into one person, and have their own princess/knight dynamic [wow the diamonds sure love that one, wonder what thats about] and any time they have a MINOR disagreement about a major problem they usually cope by literally exploding apart, doing a shit ton of property damage, and then tearfully fusing right back together again, which is gorgeously juxtaposed by the fact that they can literally see the branching timelines of the future and so can TELL that there is literally no reality where this doesnt happen if they're fucking paying attention. which they usually arent. because they're too busy focusing on keeping steven alive

#ah gee I sure do wonder why SU got a reputation for being ‘tenderqueer television’ and people never gave it a chance#despite it now having a reputation for being groundbreaking toxic yuri that paved the way for other queer media#surely it has nothing to do with Rebecca Sugar being nonbinary and nothing else

faeries are not real but i wish thwy were so i could spray one with raid

harry houdini to his wife after a long exhausting dinner with arthur conan doyle

cant do the mutual first memory rb game because i genuinely cant remember anything. i dont know you were all my mutuals at birth. we were joined by the stars and by blogging

m,y first memory is that I Loved You and do still