hello, i'm fifty?

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

girl shocked to discover that inaction can have consequences too

The knife? Baby it’s edgy and Dull

stop thinking with your dick and start thinking with your pussy. ok now stop thinking with your pussy and start thinking with your dick again. meditate on the differences between them. call me back when you get it.

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

his dark materials will literally always work bc every small child wants an animal companion that loves you most and goes on adventures with you and every adult wants an animal companion that can shoulder some of life’s immense psychologically damage for you. and you can pet it

And to tear down the feeble corpse of God! Every kid and adult wants that also!

I’m a normal adult woman with interests appropriate for my age bracket. That said, Tom Holland should fire his agents and hire me. Tom Holland thinks his audience is primarily men and makes movies for mostly their viewing pleasure; Tom Holland is wrong and Tom Holland shouldn’t. Tom Holland, do you think MEN account for the 175 MILLION YouTube views of you performing “Umbrella” in drag? I assure you they do not. Tom Holland is married to one of the most beautiful and popular women in the world FOR A REASON. Tom Holland thinks he is Mark Wahlberg but Tom Holland is Hugh Grant. Tom Holland should be in Jane Austen adaptations. Tom Holland should be in romantic comedies. Tom Holland should be speaking with his natural British accent at all times. If Timothee Chalamet had even an ounce of Tom Holland’s effortless likability, he’d have won four Oscars already. Tom Holland is for women!