semi-pro heartbreaker

IDK WHAT I WANT OR WHO I WANNA BE !!!

Okay here is plan. Shower. Take out trash. Leave for yoga/coffee. All in 20 mins??

Okay!!!!! Had my crazy ex girlfriend crash out. Thank heavens. I’m going to wake up earlier and do a few more easy things before leaving for coffee and yoga lord willing before she gets back (can’t raise the welcome home cheater flag since we’ve been broken up since February). I tried to do stuff that took zero decision making power (books, art off the walls, shoes in a bin, trash, ran the dishwasher). So maybe tomorrow I use my brain cells to fill a box with stuff from closets/side table that I actually want to take with me, and then throw out stuff I can always get again if I ever want it.

Taking the art down has successfully made me upset, so now I need to do like five more tasks so it looks like I was productive and not vindictive. It’s good though. Had to happen. I feel more movement. And less at home :(

Two more weeks!!!!!!! I can do this. I sincerely must pack my life up. I should be outside. I need to see at least M and M once more. I don’t need to do anything other than this.

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I think I’m building a vision of hudcon in my mind where they’re both still feeling very outsider looking in, this world is so redic and overwhelming and dumb, fame is so stupid we have to make fun of it, and then flip side every once in a while one of them buys into the whole deal in some regard and the other is like ??????????? Hello ?