semi-pro heartbreaker

in my noggin there is a long slow emotional Connor-centric romance novel that starts just pre heated rivalry, young wanna be actor, wants closeness and connection and a career and struggling with all of it, lands this job, love bombs himself with Hudson, realizes he has the power to make his life look like what he wants it to be and what he wants is to go out there and make art and make mistakes and be his own man!!!!!!!! and make out with Hudson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck Katelyn fuck Bailey fuck his shitty old ex fuck the clowning friends who maybe never liked him any way fuck the modeling gigs where all he was worth was his body, this is real life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someone loves him and knows him and adores him and is saying no you can be your own artist watch us both fly, whoops heated rivalry goes viral, the monkey paw curls, now he's back in la but this time on red carpet after red carpet photo shoot after photo shoot everyone's following him everyone adores him........and he what he really wants closeness and connection and a career and Hudson is really far away and Francois and him match with these stupid wrinkled ass shirts and he's back in his same conflict patterns just new older man in front of him and there's these fucking...lobster cookies.........circle of life babey, get multiplied by 1, a process has occurred but here you are, still the same! money and attention and connections didn't fill the hole in your heart at all. and so anything I'm dumping in there is sort of connected to that......except im such a slow and anxious writer its really difficult to like. hop on in. its way more fun to answer asks and pretend that I am doing outlining lmao

now. listen. accusations about the amount of time I spend online would be fair and appropriate given the frantic state this year has got me in. however no im very committed to my full ten hours and I love my obnoxiously deep queue :)