top5 shane moments please
"what the fuck do you actually want from me? WELL? oh fuck you! you are unbelievable! YOU suck MY dick! ...please"
"dont marry svetlana. we can figure something else out ok? [10 minutes later] i have another idea."
when he gets a dick in his ass for the first time and worries about it getting stuck there and having to call 911 and all of ilyas teammates watching as doctors try to separate them but then he realises he LOVES dick and if people want to watch him ride it that's also ok
"i get, like, two weeks off a year, i don't want to spend it next to someone i dont know. so get OFF my ASS, MOM."
when he hires a stylist so he can look good while picking up the guy he walked out on because he's gay now and taking it seriously
"i kinda prefer being the hole"
"i'm sorry sir we'd really like to accommodate you but--SIR im just a BELLBOY you cant treat the staff like this!"
every time he completes someone's thought with the most unhinged thing imaginable. you cant pause in front of this man without fearing for your life