eikö työtön voi rakastaa

Not a big fan of the pro-religious left cause it's always 'you ought to respect people's strongly held spiritual beliefs' like ok I'm not joking when I say maybe you should have more respect for my strongly held belief that none of this shit is real

Organised crime? Nah girl I'm into disorganised crime. If a goon doesn't have ADHD they aren't getting hired

Cops can't stop us if they don't know what we're doing, and they can't find out if we have no idea either

when we started talking about getting a small-breed dog I was like, "I will NEVER turn into one of those people who treats their little dog like a doll or an accessory by forcing them to dress up in ridiculous outfits. Dogs HATE that. They should get to be DOGS, and that means not having to wear anything but a HARNESS and being FREE to ROLL in the MUD." and then I adopted a dog who throws a fit if you try to take him for a walk without letting him pick out a bow tie first. a dog who loves wearing pajamas so much that I'm about to spend a disgusting amount of money on several sets of linen ones for summer. a dog who watches me wave at him to follow me through a mud puddle and just stands there blinking up at me like, "are you fucking serious? and get my paws wet?"

Bad poetry is a lot like bad acting, actually, in that a lot of people get it into their heads that the aim is to get visibly emotional, where the actual aim is to have some kind of tactically calibrated effect on the audience

getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone

This would work on me

my mom is literally the most selfish person in the world