sweet of ass

2013-2016 Hyundai Genesis Coupe

and every time we kiss I swear I could fly

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

Sometimes you send something you found online to a friend because you want to brighten their day, and sometimes you send something you found online to a friend with the precise attitude and bearing of a cat very carefully lining up their paw with the back of another cat's head.

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

*goes to Coachella in a white linen suit like an antebellum lawyer, sweating profusely and dabbing at my forehead with a handkerchief* now, I’m no fancy scientist, but would you folk know where a simple gentleman such as myself could obtain some acid? Now, I’m no big city lawyer, but could any of you fine youths point a country boy such as myself in the direction of some fucking acid?

you know those studies showing that cursing helps with pain tolerance or whatever. that’s how i feel about making my weird little noises to get through my basic daily activities. sometimes you just have to go hggblaaaah for a minute so you can find the strength within yourself to get up or wash the dishes or send an email. mmmnneh. urgh. the torments are unending but you can always make some little sounds about it.

vampire who kisses your skin before biting

everyone stop pretending like tumblr polls are for collecting real data or discovering anything about site culture. tumblr polls are for you and your friend to click a little button and have fun together and that is why everyone should be making them

(By the excellent @motleyfam )

[image 1: AO3 chapter note that reads, "So as we all know from math class, '5/5' is just a fancy way of saying '1', meaning this story is most definitely still a oneshot 😌". image 2: AO3 chapter note that reads, "The funny thing about fractions is that, mathematically speaking, there is no difference between 5/5 and 6/6 (except for my sanity)".]