Toenail Queen

Do it scared but please don't do it hungry. Please don't do it dehydrated. It's gonna make it so much scarier. Please.

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time

would you like to share with the class 🤔

saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute

would you like to unshare with the class

Burden bearing hips

If you remember being a teenager you're a creep because you straight up saw yourself naked back then. The only way to be righteous is to obliterate your mind with drugs until you can't remember anything

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

So like an hour ago I just lear🪨︵︵ned that— what the fuck was that. Someone just skipped a rock across my post did you see that