Finding the Beauty

I know it's a dark time for us right now. Our feeds are mostly business; yeah I get it.

I just want to remind you in this darkest timeline that sometimes, even if it isn't Shabbat, it's okay to take a deep breath and decide that you can take care of yourself first.

You can't pour from an empty cup. Yes, we need to be fighting the good fight right now. Yes, that means we are doing a ton of emotional labor right now and it's important that we do it. But if you have a moment where you feel you need to take a moment for yourself and you have the opportunity to do so, please do it. We're in this fight for the long-haul and sometimes that means we have to take care of ourselves first.

WHEN social media influencer Chris Caresnone made his first trip to Israel just over a year ago, he knew very little about the country — including nothing about the events of October 7.

But he is a fast learner and has embraced all aspects of Israeli society, including Jewish, Muslim, Christian and Druze, on his quest for good food.

“About a year ago, I was invited by a group called Reality to go to Israel,” the Chicago-based food blogger told me. “A lady named Debra Feinberg reached out and was like, ‘Chris, I’ve been following you for a while, and I think you’d be great for this organisation that gets people to Israel’, because my Jewish audience was starting to grow.

“I was thinking that I need to get to Israel because it would be good for the energy, ethos, brand, and content.”

Chris, who has hundreds of thousands of followers across social media, continued: “I’ll be honest, I had heard stuff about Israel and Palestine, but I was ignorant. I didn’t know much about anything until I was in Israel. I was wet behind the ears. I didn’t know about the bombs or October 7. All I knew was, I’ve got to get to Israel.”

Chris, whose real surname is Campbell, said the first thing that struck him about Israel was that it wasn’t all Ashkenazim.

“We ignorantly think that all the Jewish people on Earth are eastern European,” he told me.

“It’s not from a place of hate, just that we don’t know. But then when I went to Israel, I’m like, man, there’s people my colour who are Jewish and Israeli.

“As far as food, I would say excellent. It all felt fresh, even the fried food.”

Chris, who is known as the Babka King, was a little surprised about the lack of babka in Israel.

“There’s some, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not really Sephardic, Mizrahi,” he said.

There was another aspect of Israeli life which surprised him — the driving.

“It’s a little hectic,” he laughed. “I don’t know if I want to drive over there. I personally thought the vibe of Israel was super cool, and I plan on going back as often as I can.”

Despite being a six-foot two-inch black man with a beard, Chris said he has never encountered any problems getting into Israel, apart from being stopped constantly by people who recognise him.

“The reach is getting so big now, so many people notice me in the airport, and it’s not even just Israel, it’s back home too, New York, Chicago,” he smiled.

“I have to stop and take pictures every few minutes, so that’s not really a problem, but it’s something that’s a slight disruption.”

Although it was never his original intention, Chris’ social media feed is now heavily Jewish, leading to many Jewish dinner invitations, including from rabbis for Friday night dinner.

“I’m kind of Jewish now,” he joked, “I’m embedded and I see what’s going on, but my first time in Israel? I heard that this is apartheid, but I see all kinds of people there walking freely. I’m a black America dude, clearly not Israeli, clearly not Jewish and not only do I walk perfectly fine, people come up to me and show me love.”

Chris, who says he grew up Christian but is not very religious, had his babka obsession started by a Muslim.

“And that turned into this movement, so to speak, of humanity, which I think is the most beautiful thing ever,” he explained.

“I started making culture content, showing love to different cultures. I did like 50 cultures. I didn’t even make any Jewish or Israeli content for seven or eight months.

“I feel like I get so much love within the community, and I’m just treating y’all normal like how I treat everyone else.

“I was told the way you have to look at it is, imagine if someone gives you a glass of water every single day.

“Eventually, it’s just another glass of water. But imagine you’re walking through the desert for four months, and then someone gives you a glass of water, it’s a bigger deal. And it’s not because the glass of water is any different, it’s because the context of the situation.

“It’s so big and powerful, yet it’s a matter of just being human and showing humanity.

“And the whole food, the babka was really just life’s way of Hashem, the universe, God, whatever we wanna call it, it was the Trojan horse to get my energy amplified.

“It’s more than food. I don’t feel like a food guy at all. I feel more like a bridge builder.”

During his trips to Israel, he has also spent time with Ethiopian and Druze communities.

He described Ethiopian food as “ridiculously good”, adding: “I have tried other cultures that are mixed within Israel. That’s what makes Israel’s food scene so unique. It’s almost like the opposite of what people are trying to say.”

The 42-year-old was raised around the North Shore of Chicago, which, he said, has one of the largest Jewish populations in America.

“I didn’t really have a lot of Jewish cuisine outside of matzo ball soup,” he explained. “When I got a little older, I started working in restaurants in different areas, and sometimes affluent areas.

“I started trying things that I probably would not have tried had I not worked in a restaurant. So my horizons got expanded because of that.”

He said what he realised about kosher food was that the food was still good despite the restrictions (apart from gefilte fish, which he has never been fond of).

As expected, his videos from Israel, while garnering mainly positive comments, do receive a number of hateful comments.

He had changed his name to Caresnone to reflect the fact that he wasn’t letting hate get to him, but it is a situation that has provoked a lot of thought.

“Here’s something I’ve been asking myself a lot recently,” he said. “Am I trying to be right or am I trying to solve the problem? I have learned that a lot of times I was trying to be right, not trying to generally solve the problem.

“On my birthday, February 2, I went out with some people and I had a buddy bring a girl he had met like once or twice.

“He should not have invited some girl he had just met to my intimate personal birthday dinner, but it is what it is. So we’re all sitting there at this restaurant and it’s a good 10 of us. We were talking about food and I’m like one of my new favourite cuisines is Israeli food. I’ve been going to a lot of Israeli restaurants.

“And this girl who’s sitting next to me, she goes, ‘oh, excuse me, what did you say?’

And I’m like, ‘I like Israeli cuisine, it’s fire, I love it’. And she says, ‘there’s no such thing as Israeli cuisine, it’s all stolen, they steal everything’.

“She invited this new energy when we were just talking about food.

“I’m with my buddy Kareem KWOE Wells, who’s considered King of the Mitzvahs, a black Christian in Chicago who’s known for doing the most epic and powerful mitzvahs in the country. Me and Kareem went at her. We weren’t rude or ignorant, but I was starting to feel myself losing composure, because I’m part of the humanity tribe, but I’m also very entrenched in the Jewish community and Israel.

“Then she made a comment along the lines of ‘I should be able to say whatever I want to say’ and then I matched her with that.

“I’m a pretty intimidating figure. And I looked at her, and I’m like, ‘well, I can say what I want to say, too’. I was giving her energy that wasn’t welcoming. I didn’t cuss her out or anything. And everyone else at the table thought I handled it well.

“But I was trying to be right. I wasn’t trying to solve the problem. So much so that she said, ‘maybe I should get out of here’. And I looked at her and go, ‘yeah, maybe you should’.”

He continued: “Fast forward. I’m on the way to Israel, on a 10-hour flight. I get a DM: ‘F*** Israel, f*** you, you black monkey’.

“I was immediately reminded of my birthday. I thought about that moment and I asked myself, do I want to be right or do I want to solve the problem?

“Being right would be to either call that person a racist or antisemite, or to ignore the person, or to call them an idiot, that you’re wrong, you don’t know anything about nothing. Or am I trying to solve the problem genuinely?

“So I typed to that person ‘I love you, brother’. Then we’re going back and forth, but I’m always bringing it back to humanity. I’m trying to solve the problem.

“And instead of looking at this person as a racist and antisemite, which he’s showing himself to be, I saw him as this person who’s hurt, who believes a narrative, who thinks he understands something, he obviously doesn’t know me, and that’s what I saw now.

“So I was able to not take it personally because I want to solve the problem. I don’t care about being right. I don’t care that he thinks I’m this. I’m trying to solve this.”

He added: “That guy who called me a black monkey. He equated me being aligned with Israel as equal to hating Muslims.

“I know Jewish people for a fact do not hate Muslims. But this person believed that all Jews and all Israel, or anyone who stands for that, hates Muslims. I’m like, brother, a Muslim sent me my first babka.

“A Muslim has created a lot of this, you know what I’m saying? He was the one who sent me the babka.”

The guy eventually apologised for his ‘black monkey’ comment.

Chris has also received death threats because of his Israel content.

He joked: “How you gonna hate me because I’m eating the babka? I’ve never once come out and said I’m pro-Israel or pro-Jewish. I said I’m pro-humanity, which includes Israel.

“I don’t think that’s controversial. I’m looking at a Jewish person, you got arms, you got a head, you got feet, you’re one of us. If the aliens come down, I don’t care if you’re Jewish, Muslim, green, yellow, it’s us versus the aliens?

“Like I said, people coming at me crazy for eating the food, which is interesting, because whoever’s throwing out that slur or that energy, I’ve probably done their culture too.”

Chris describes his job as to move “in a light, which is very Jewish! Very tikkun olam, from what I’ve been learning. And I feel like before I even knew what tikkun olam was, and before I even knew what being chosen people was, and before I knew any of the core premises of Judaism, I align with a lot of this stuff.”

Chris is hoping to spread his wings more. He is keen to “get my butt out to Europe, I know there’s a lot of people telling me I need to go to Australia and Mexico City, where there’s a big Jewish population.”

One of his favourite restaurants in Israel is called Pitmaster.

“I have learned that the Israeli community loves to dance,” he said. “Pitmaster is an experience. Everyone’s dancing. They stop between the meals and they dance and it’s like a vibe. They are gonna bring two more to the United States. And in America, you’re gonna have to make alcohol more of a thing, because these people weren’t dancing because they were drunk, they were dancing because they were joyful. In the States, you’ve got to get people drinking.”

He added: “So when you ask me, am I aware of how what I do affects the Jewish community and the people of Israel specifically. I want to be clear and say I’m not a Jewish content creator. I am not an Israeli content creator.

“I’m a humanitarian creator who happens to also include Jewish and Israel on the humanitarianism, and also, I just happen to be really cool with them like anyone else.”

In one of his newer videos, Chris talks about volunteering in Jerusalem with Colel Chabad.

“It reminded me that sometimes the best part of travelling isn’t just what you experience. It’s what you can give back. If you’re visiting Israel, I genuinely recommend adding this to your itinerary.”

Pretty much everyone was super nice to us and cheered us on heartily, despite there being a watermelon group about 20 groups ahead of us that significantly outnumbered us.

But for some reason, in spite of all of that, I still cannot get this out of my head: This one random woman I looked over to notice quietly booing us.

She haunts me.

It's so stupid I know so many people face straight up getting barred from pride etc but... Still.

It’s been three years now and my mom outlived the prognosis Baruch HaShem. Those people all graduated (and those professors are still employed) and they all prob don’t even remember what they did to me but I really don’t know how I’ll ever feel safe being close to other people again. They all get to move on and feel like heroes “on the right side of history” and I have a bunch of mental illness and trust issues.

1) most of the world does not have the right to not self-incriminate. In the US, let's say I happen to pull out of a parking lot entirely unknowing that a murder is happening at the other end. I can plead the fifth and say I'm invoking my right to not self-incriminate. If I'm basically anywhere else, I have to admit I was in the parking lot and hope the other evidence saves me.

2) most of the world doesn't have the "you don't have to testify against your spouse" law. You can't rob a bank together and then refuse to speak badly of each other.

3) not all countries operate on "innocent until proven guilty." I don't know for sure a full list of who doesn't, but I know "guilty until proven innocent" is true in Japan and Thailand, and basically any country with a dictator. "But it's not a dictatorship" is not an indicator.

4) you do not have the right to remain silent in most of the world. Silence will be taken as an admission of guilt even if your silence is only "I'm not fluent in this language, and don't want to speak until I have an interpreter."

5) most places have absolutely terrible disability protections laws, if they have them at all. I know the "hate America" website is going to hate hearing this, but the US still has some of the strongest laws in the world for protecting our disabled citizens in terms of both accessibility and discrimination. "You can sue for that" is not necessarily true--often it isn't.

6) whether or not your country has freedom of speech laws is a crapshoot, and countries you might expect to have them often don't. I was stunned to learn the UK doesn't have freedom of speech laws. "This country is not a dictatorship" is not an indicator.

7) I already knew this one before Tumblr, but it bears repeating for the people who don't, alcohol laws vary wildly throughout the world and the US has the highest age of legality and second-strictest laws about alcohol in the world. (The strictest are in Islamic theocratic countries where consumption is forbidden and punishable by death.) Most of the developed world has ages of legality between 14-18 years old, often with "split" ages (e.g. you can drink beer and wine at 14 but you can't drink hard liquor until you're 16). Some places may not have minimum ages at all.

8) the "parliamentary government" is a lie. All parliaments are different, sometimes wildly so. Maybe you, like me, had a civics teacher who actually explained the differences between monarchy/democracy/republic/parliamentary and so on. That teacher, unlike mine, might even have been very good. But their class time was limited and they absolutely did not give you the whole picture. Unless you're talking to someone in the UK, "contact your MP or local council" is not necessarily how their government works, even if it's parliamentary. "It's like Congress except with more than two parties" is how a very, very limited number of parliamentary governments actually work.

9) "military service" doesn't necessarily mean the same thing everywhere, and militaries are not inherently repressive. Very few people would argue the Ukrainian military is a bad thing when it's fighting against a genocide, for example. And I learned from a German military friend that the primary purpose of the German military is actually public service--they cover a lot of the functions that would be handled in the US by stuff like FEMA.

10) not quite a legal thing, but most of the world doesn't use 911 for their emergency services and those who do are doing it in response to widespread ignorance of the real number. 112 is a common emergency number, and I think I've also seen 111 and 999. If you're in a non-US country and dial 911, at best you'll be rerouted to the actual emergency services number. At worst, nothing will happen and you'll still need help but not know how to get it.

And that's only stuff I've personally picked up. That's absolutely not a full rundown of all the common misinformation pieces.

It harms your lungs and it’s especially bad for children (and pets!) or anyone with health problems. There are all kinds of chemicals in that smoke. It’s not only trees that are burning. The heat already makes it harder to breath. This makes it worse.

If any of you are experiencing it, feel free to tell about it in the comments. 💚

Huh