It's Bean Time

sometimes artists worry if their art is actually capable of making the world a better place, or if its all just wasted effort. what you need to remember is: all art is evil, and the sole aspiration of the artist should be to maim as many onlookers as possible.

she 🫪 on my 🫪 till i 🫪

When I was in middle school, I really wanted a rat and my mama got me one before I had the chance to do any research, and I named him Mildew, and then I learned that rats get all fucked up if they don't have a buddy, so I got him a brother and I named the brother Dildew. Something to consider if you are currently pregnant with twins.

*gently takes your face in my hands* hey. remember that fandom is for fun. if you're not having fun it is ok to step back. if you're intentionally making it unfun for others it is ok to step back. none of this is real. go sit in the sun and smell a flower. i love you.

Maybe one reason time seems to speed up in adult life is because when your full time job leaves you roughly 5 hours of free time a day plus two days off a week your life turns into a sort of monotony that makes the days blend together and creative pursuits move in slow motion as you can only get to them when other your commitments are done.

When you look back and think damn 2019 wasn’t that long ago where did the time go? Job. Your Job took it.

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

As a Native Hawaiian, 1) I thought this happened everywhere, 2) ofc we can levitate coconut milk

i don’t feel like debating that topic much farther bc truthfully if it comes down to “women will lose to men in every sport bc they don’t have as much testosterone!!!!!” my elite feminist response is honest to god “ok we will lose with honor as equals instead of having our own special Easy Mode Female category so we can win amongst ourselves” like i’m sorry i just can’t be persuaded. i’m a brick wall. i want co-ed sports

i bring a sort of “women can lose at some sports against men if it means being regarded as equals” vibe to the debate that “testosterone objectively increases performance” people don’t really like

whoever's idea it was to have womens t-shirts have those tiny sleeves that go way up into the armpits must have done that maliciously

i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will

"why do men watch porn instead of just having sex with their girlfriends?" is already silly for numerous reasons, but seeing it being used as like. a feminist talking point is so crazy to me because like of the implication that being in a relationship means being available for sex all the time, which you know. doesn't feel great for women i think.

so this only got 15$,

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

image description: tweet by @/topherflorence, reading: back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale /end description

my entire childhood i was threatened with juvenile detention just for being a weird kid. the kids in my class would lie about me doing bad things, or be doing bad things and then i would get in trouble and my school principal said if i didnt 'show remorse' id end up in juvy. neighbors called the cops on me and my own mother wouldnt take my side. so no, i dont think prison is a valid tool for rehabilitation or justice. jail is a threat the people in power use to control us and get rid of people they dont like. get more prison abolitionist now. get more youthlib now. get more transfeminist NOW