like. okay. the thing about marinette is that she cares wildly, inescapably, uncomfortably much. the thing about marinette is that the love she has to give is so expansive and bulky and tangible that it follows her everywhere, permeates every scone and stitch and smile she has to offer the world. marinette is a creator, and she creates instinctively, in the way she knows how: by steeping every single action in love.
marinette loves wildly, inescapably, uncomfortably much, and love, too, is the trip in her step, the glue between her teeth. the way she loves adrien is as inescapable as gravity; all it takes is a smile or a laugh and there she is again, orbiting his sunbeam smile until her every planet is aligned to his light. loving adrien is like gravity, and when marinette falls, she falls hard.
the thing about marinette loving wildly, inescapably, uncomfortably much is that she is chronically self-aware of this tendency in herself. she takes the reins of her heart each day and pulls back, desperately, hoping to keep a firm enough grip on her love to at least avoid tripping over it. marinette would back head over heart in a court of law in an instant; she is a warrior and a planner. she'll choose what she knows she can trust.
marinette is a warrior and a planner, and she is a winner. she thrives under high stakes and solid possibilities, running a thousand variables through her head in an instant. marinette is a good planner, which means she is a good predictor. but good predictions rely on steady variables, and marinette's love for adrien is always one slip away from knocking her off her feat. her love for him is so all-encompassing and impactful that it is the one variable she can never quite calculate, the one factor that leads all her plans awry. marinette is a warrior, and a planner, and a winner, but every plan for adrien splinters into a shower of golden shards because it involves the one thing she cannot account for: love.
loving adrien is like gravity, and when marinette falls, it hurts. it hurts every time, but she stands back up anyway, every time, until the day that she doesn't. because what use is a golden mosaic of shattered glass plans and the catalogue in her mind of the different ways he says hello if she can't muster up the courage to ask him if he's been sleeping alright? what use is all this love if she can never put it into practice?
(so she will try to put it away, this uncomfortably loud and bulky and tangible trip-able love. she will throw blankets on its sunfire, shut the blinds to its raging storm. she will yank on the reins of love with every ounce of power she has at her disposal, and still.
marinette loves adrien in a way that not many people get the chance to be loved, and it is not the sort of thing that can be switched off and on like a light. blankets and blinds will only do so much. this is something she learns.)
marinette is a warrior and a planner and a winner and when she loves, it is wildly, inescapably, uncomfortably much. marinette believes herself to be an expert in the field of loving adrien agreste, but she cannot love him fully until she can know him, and she cannot know him with all this tremendous love blocking the way. that deep-rooted desire to know him is one that never leaves. marinette cannot know adrien fully, but she learns him the best that she can: in magazine articles and photoshoot blurbs, stilted conversation and nervous habits. marinette is a student of the back row, and she dedicates herself to the language of adrien's shoulder blades. the way they tense up when he is anxious and shake when he laughs. she makes him gifts and tries to convince herself to give them, she quietly tries to be everything he might need. when love is tying marinette's tongue in so many knots she cannot speak, she listens, and this is a gift adrien does not receive lightly.
marinette believes herself to be an expert in the field of loving adrien agreste: wildly, inescabably, and uncomfortably so. this love has caused her joy and grief and confusion beyond anything she has ever known, and still there is one secret about this love that she could never even conceive of:
there will come a day when marinette will know adrien as fully and wholly as a person has ever known another person, and the way she will love him then will eclipse everything else. all of it. the love she feels now, the one so strong it reduces her every plan to shatters, her very mind to pieces, is nothing compared to what's to come.
she will love him so much that it will all have been worth it.
gummygunk
prguitarman
annaxmalina
kaledo-art
stormborns
