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@batfambyval
Hey if you See This can you reblog this or comment on this with a character you headcanon as aromantic, asexual, or both. It can be canon it can be founded on absolutely nothing I just need more aroace stuff on here #yay
Jason Todd. Definitely ace. That's why all his love interests feel so forced.
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Tim, walking into the Batcave and noticing everyone’s distraught appearance: What’s wrong?? Who died??
Stephanie: We have bad news Tim. You should sit down.
Tim: Oh shit did someone actually die?? Who was it this time?
Dick: Remember that civilian that we catch trailing after us every so often? The one who was involved in the Penguin incident awhile ago?
Tim: Oh. Clarissa O’Neal? What about her?
Damian: She was taken hostage by one of Black Masks henchmen. We didn’t make it in time to save her.
Tim: ? And that’s why you guys are so upset? C’mon guys lighten up, it’s movie night
Jason, getting visibly pissed: What the Fuck dude. A civilian we were close to fucking died because we didn’t make it in time
Dick: I know you didn’t like her much but show a bit of empathy Timmy. You usually take these situations seriously
Tim: I’ve been trying to kill her off for ages. Why would I be upset??
Steph: Tim you have 10 seconds to fix your attitude before i fix it for you
Jason: Since when do you take people’s lives so lightly? Dude you need to leave before I do something i regret.
Tim: I didn’t know you guys were so attached to her. I could revive her if you want, but honestly it’s more effort than it’s worth. And she was getting unwanted attention from the rogues so she had to go.
Damian: Revive?? Timothy what are you on about? And why are you saying that like you personally set up her demise?
Tim: Because I did? The planning for it took forever but I have to admit everything went a lot better than I was expecting.
Dick: TIM WHAT—
Jason: WHAT THE HELL—
Damian: MURDER? You?!
Steph, screaming over everyone else: WAIT SHUT UP
Steph: TIM NO YOU DID NOT
Steph: TIM DON’T TELL ME YOU DID IT AGAIN
Dick: Again?!? What are you talking about?!
Steph, laughing: Guys calm down. HE was Clarissa
Tim: You guys didn’t know??
Jason: HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THE HISPANIC LOOKING WOMEN IN HER MID TWENTIES AND A CRIME ALLEY ACCENT WAS YOU
Dick: Tim i am THIS CLOSE to burning down your disguise room.
Damian: Timothy explain yourself
Tim: I had an undercover op that I needed a female field agent for a couple years ago to infiltrate penguins operations. Over time She became a bit too important and Black mask was threatening her. So I decided to kill her off. I got the info I needed already and it was becoming a bit of a drag keeping up appearances
Steph: You need to stop getting us emotionally invested in your aliases and then killing them off. This is the fourth time you did this to me. I’ll never forgive you for Alvin Draper, I still grieve him even though i know you’re alive!
Tim: YOU guys need to start recognizing me in disguise. Worlds greatest detectives MY ASS
Jason: DUDE YOU GAVE YOURSELF DOUBLE D’s WHY WOULD WE ASSUME THAT WAS YOU
Damian: My training in this area has been neglected. Timothy show me your disguise lair
Tim: Sure, after movie night. Let’s go
Dick: This is gonna bite us in the ass. Damian is already so good at impressions. We will never know if someone we are talking to is him or not
Tim: LMAO When i’m done with him? Yea everyone’s fucked
Steph: It’s gonna give Roger from American dad
Bruce from the corner: *Breathes a sigh of relief*
Bruce at the Batcomputer: *Sighs and moves Clarissa O’Neal from ‘Real Civilian Death’ folder to ‘Tim’s Fake Identities’ folder. Creates new folder labeled ‘Damian’s Fake Identities’
Were Kon and Bart ever made aware of the freak sh:t Cassie and Tim got up to when they were dead.
I do not believe so, no… I mean, the universe did kind of reset soon after they returned I think… they didn’t really get the chance
Bruce didn't pull those baddies by being rich or hot or Batman. Those women didn't look at that man and go "he's hot, I got to have him". No, they all looked at this weirdo and each of them went "I want to study this man like a bug under a glass because he's so fucking strange" and then they got attached to the fucker.
Dick: No. I refuse, get somebody else to do it.
Tim: Dick, no one else is even in the running. please be so fr right now
Damian: What are you arguing about?
Dick: Damian! Damian can do it! He’d be great at it.
Tim: No, Damian’s gonna follow his paternal grandfathers lead and be a doctor. Everyone only has to take on ONE element of Bruce. Try again
Jason: They are arguing about which one of us should be the newest representative for the Justice League for when Bruce finally conks it.
Damian: That would be an honor no? Richard you would be a competent ruler.
Cas: Leader
Damian: Whatever. I assume Timothy will be taking on WE in the event of father’s passing, so wouldn’t Jason also be in the running?
Tim: No i called dibs on Jason
Jason: What? What are you talking about. You can’t call dibs on me. What if I want to run the Justice League?
Tim: You don’t. You are going to run the Wayne foundation. Take from the rich give to the poor. Modern day Robin Hood—Very on brand for you. Don’t worry I have the contracts and everything ready.
Jason: …
Jason: Ok deal. Sorry Dickie, looks like your going to rule the interplanetary alliance :P
Dick: I don’t wanna!
Tim: What, do you wanna switch?
Dick: Well, no—
Tim: Also you’re the only one that makes sense.
Dick: I’ll do anything else, please that’s too much responsibility.
Tim: Okay. Be Batman.
Dick: …
Dick: Yea never mind. Running the Justice League won’t be that hard.
Damian: Wait so who will be Batman?
Cass: Dibs
Damian, Tim, Jason, Dick: Fair
Bruce, who’s been sitting at the dining room table with them the whole time: Are you done dividing my assets and responsibilities between yourselves now? Can we eat our dinner?
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Damian: Out of respect for the Robin name, I have been researching the person who originated it: Mary Grayson (nee Lloyd). Bruce: Oh, find anything good? Damian: Were you aware she had a criminal record? Bruce: Yes. Tim: Of course. I have a copy of it at home. Jason: I mean I didn't. But I'm not surprised. Damian: Why not? Jason: Because I've met her son. I imagine Mary Grayson was involved in every anti-authoritarian protest she came across on her travels. What I would be more interested in is learning exactly what Janet Drake was up to to create Master Stalker over there.
Tim: What's the weirdest thing thats happed to you?
Marinette: Hmm... I'd have to say being the caretaker of dozens of pocket-sized gods.
Tim: Oh, I was gonna say I lost my spleen.
Jason: Excuse me, what? Lost it? What do you mean? Did it walk away??
Jason: Wait, did you say gods?
Funny, but that is so far from being the weirdest thing to happen to Tim. Like, light years away. What about the time his parents came back from the dead and tried to kill him? What about the time he accidentally adopted a sentient Alien vehicle? What about the time he was roped into playing a game of baseball on another planet with the stakes being that alien planet and Earth? What about the time he and his assistant got trapped in a crazy dark web universe thing called the Ünternet and his assistant was turned into a baby for a while? I could go on but I think I’ve made my point.
Having an emergency splenectomy is mid ranked at best, and that’s only when also considering the circumstances surrounding the event. He had just found proof that Bruce was not dead but in fact lost in time, he was hanging out with his assassin bodyguards who were assigned to him by Ra’s al Ghul, he was stabbed one of the LoA’s rival groups of assassins because he was hanging out with some of their members and was mistaken for one of them, after being stabbed in the spleen he somehow managed to get both himself and one of the assassins (who’s throat had been slit) to their car, drive them for miles back to the city and somehow discreetly got them to his penthouse hotel room, where incidentally, Tamara Fox was looking for him, and soon after both of them were kidnapped by the league of assassins, and then Tim woke up next to a Lazarus pit and was told his spleen had been removed to save his life. And yes, I consider all that mid ranked on Tim’s weirdness scale. Pretty high on the trauma scale, but not weirdness.
conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 55 (masterpost here)
Jason: -like seven minutes out, but it's really quiet so i don't think it would be worth teaming for.
Dick: copy, i'm almost done over here anyway, then me and Robin are going back to the cave.
Tim: so. did Hood tell you guys that he's at war with all the middle-aged moms in his neighbourhood?
Jason: -oh don't get me started.
Dick, snickering: the 'middle-aged moms'? are you fighting a bunch of Karens from the home owners association?
Jason: oh i got banned from the hoa like, a year ago. which is really ironic because they like Red Hood. they just don't like me.
Damian: are these the women who insulted your skincare that you told me about? said you needed to moisturize more?
Jason, intently: -Damian let me tell you i fucking hate these women. i hate them.
Tim: *evil cackling*
Dick: what's even happening? since when do you have bad neighbours?
Jason: oh my- i didn't even do anything, they just hate me for no reason.
Tim: dude, you dislocated a kid's shoulder.
Dick: wait, what?
Jason: NOW HOLD ON-
Damian: yeah be fair Red, that wasn't Hood's fault.
Tim, laughing: yeah but it's still funny.
Dick: wait wait wait- hold on now, hold on- somebody tell me the whole story, i need to hear this.
Damian: one of the spoilt brats in the building across from Hood's tried to break in to steal alcohol, and he dislocated his shoulder in one of the traps set up.
Jason: i fuckin- that kid was lucky. if he'd tried the other window he would have been shot with a dart to the face, so i don't wanna hear it. i came home from the library and the little twerp was sobbing on the floor of my bathroom as if he was the victim, and then i had to fix him up!
Dick: oof. ...to be fair you do have a lot of traps in your apartment Hood. like, more than i do.
Jason: -because the kid likes them! he likes trying to break through them when he comes round, it's our thing!
Damian: and that shit-stain of a preteen ruined the set up for me! i came by like an hour later and it hadn't been reset. waste of a B&E run.
Jason: yeah, because i was over the road getting yelled at by fucking Caroline, who apparently thinks her son has right of way in other people's private property.
Dick: *laugh* she got mad at you?
Jason: YEAH- she was like, 'i'll sue you for assaulting my son' and i'm fucking looking at her like, bring it the fuck on, bitch, i have access to Bruce Wayne's lawyers! lets see who wins! and then she- and then holy fuck D, you aren't gonna believe this but i swear to god she said this word for word,
Tim: *wheeze*
Jason: she fucking goes- 'that Red Hood man does not spend his every spare second protecting our streets and their people just for people like you to move in and provide danger for our children.'
Dick: WHAT.
Jason: YEAH- YEAH EXACTLY, THAT'S WHAT I WAS LIKE-! guys you have no idea the self control i had to have to not go back later with the helmet on like 'yo i hear you messing with my boy Jason, the fuck is wrong with you?'
Tim: *louder cackling* PLEASE- please, Hood please do that,
Dick: so what happened after?!
Jason: ugh, this bitch starts lying to all the other moms in the neighbourhood about how i attacked her kid in the street and how he did nothing wrong and i was just an egotistical prick who didn't like when children played outside- mind you i have fucking security footage of what actually happened,
Dick: oh so you're- you're literally in an all out war with them?
Jason: SOME of them; there are a couple moms whose kids i've actually babysat and who know me and that, those ones aren't taking Caroline and her posse's shit, so now me and my girls are in a turf war with these other bitches-
Tim: i've seen- *cackle* Wing, you gotta start going around Crime Alley during the day more. i went to a pottery class with Hood last week over there and afterwards we ran into one of the woman that has beef with him; they are feral.
Jason: WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PUBLIC GROCERY STORE. I WAS TRYING TO BUY ONIONS. PEACEFULLY. and this bitch comes up to me throwing shade like 'oh you should really move out because we don't take aggressiveness lightly' and i'm like ME?!?!? IN THIS SITUATION, ME AGRESSIVE??
Tim: *wheeze*
Dick, audibly amused: i mean you do carry guns around, that isn't exactly non-agressive,
Jason: BUT THAT'S WHAT DRIVES ME CRAZY, IS THAT THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THE GUNS. THAT'S NOT WHAT BOTHERS THEM! fucking- half the women that want me gone are carrying, and they all love Red Hood, but this woman was talking to me like 'it's obvious from the build of your body that you want to be intimidating; nobody works out like that unless you want the power',
Dick: *blows raspberry, dissolving into a loud cackle*
Jason: and i'm fucking standing there; coupon book out, sunscreen across the bridge of my nose, Tim next to me in a Hawaiian shirt holding the bag of pottery mugs we just made and painted together, staring at these onion prices; and i'm just like 'ok well first of all me being this jacked was a non-consensual operation and i don't appreciate you bringing up past trauma, Cindy.',
Dick: HOLY FUCK- *louder cackling*
Jason: -and now Cindy's telling me that people as strong as me don't go through trauma like that and that i'm making fun of real victims by implying such a thing-
Damian: this is insane,
Jason: -AT WHICH POINT TIM DECIDES IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO WHIP OFF HIS GLASSES AND SAY 'you know you keep coming back to how built my brother is; if you want to suck his dick you can just say that',
Dick: *uncontrollable wheezes* T-HIM-,
Tim: I REGRET- *cackle* I REGRET NOTHING.
Jason: -and now this bitch is threatening to call the police for sexual harassment, to which some random other woman who wasn't even INVOLVED in the conversation butts in, and she goes 'you know i've been listening to this conversation for the past five minutes, and i gotta say lady, you don't seem like the kind of person anybody wants to sexually harass',
Dick: *in awe* OH-?!
Damian: HOLY FUCK.
Jason: YEAH- YEAH. AND SO NOW I'M FUCKING STANDING THERE AS CINDY STARTS GETTING INTO A FIGHT WITH THIS RANDOM STRANGER, AND I'M JUST HOLDING MY FUCKING ONIONS, SIDE-EYEING TIM JUST 'so do you think we can leave?' BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THIS NO LONGER INVOLVES ME-,
Tim: -can i just say by the way? hands down, best day of my week.
Jason: yeah also i think Cindy's started an anti-me Facebook group. so.
*a beat*
Dick: ok but on a scale of 1 to 10 how funny would it be if we joined the group with the old official public Batman account?
Jason: OH MY-
Damian: -GENIUS-
Tim: -HAVE TO. WE HAVE TO.
Jaosn: EVERYBODY TO THE CAVE NOW.
Honestly I’m not a fan of most of Anarky’s new designs, canon or fan made. Not that I don’t think they’re cool or aesthetically pleasing, but that I firmly believe that the Anarky costume should always invoke V from V for Vendetta. That is an absolute must. To take that away removes incredibly important context about the character and their motivations.
In a similar vein, I believe someone needs to write an introduction speech for Anarky using a bunch of meaningful words beginning with A, like the one V has. Anarchy, Apocalypse, Apologies, Animalistic, Amorous, Ambiguous, Aesthetic, Against, Affirmative, Ask, Anger, Azure, Among, Attack, Apostle, Arterial, Awakening, Ahead, Anticipating, Apprehensive, Approach, Assault, Assuming, Assassins, Always, Apathy, Answers, etc. I might do it myself, but not today my brain is mushy today.
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Ok so I know I’ve said that Anarky is a vigilante, and that continues to be true. But the category he fits better is still Revolutionary. It’s not the language we usually use in dc comics, but that’s what Anarky is. They are not fighting against criminals the law doesn’t punish, they don’t participate in American democracy, they actively undermine the authorities. Lonnie Machin sees the fucked up system that controls us and tries not just to change it, but tear it down entirely. With little to no plan about how to replace it. Their faith in the goodness of humanity means that they identify anarchy as the goal, after which people will be free of the corrupting influences of money and power, and will then naturally find a better system.
And look, I love Lonnie. I love Anarky. But he became Anarky at age 12 and implemented one of his most radical plans at 15. His understanding of the world at both those points was naive and childish, completely denying the inherent corruption of being human. Lonnie believed that he could carry out the revolution by himself and that others more suited to the task would deal with the fallout, showing a startling sense of both hubris and awareness of his own shortfalls along with his misplaced faith in humanity.
Most of Anarky’s plans are ideologically compelling but lack full logically planning and often don’t take all the risks into account. They don’t see the worst case scenarios very well, they’re an optimist. Despite having enhanced intelligence, Anarky remains naive. Lacks insight into the bureaucratic machines they disrupt. The supply chain that is necessary to many people’s survival but would crumble without management, the infrastructure that would crumble without maintenance. Basically what we Americans have been experiencing with our president shutting down the government whenever he doesn’t get his way and cutting funding, but on an even larger scale. That’s what anarchy means in reality, despite the appealing notions of freedom from capitalism and oppression. The human cost would be astronomical.
The other issue with Anarky’s approach is their method of listening to the opinions of the average person and taking it as gospel. Which when phrased like that sounds absolutely ridiculous. People in the same situations will not necessarily agree on the solution, so there obviously comes a point where Lonnie will have to make a decision based on his own experience and agenda, which undermines the idea that Anarky is everyone who is oppressed by the current system. Which I think is why Lonnie had to create a new identity as Moneyspider. Beyond the identity issue, there’s also the problem of minorities. Genuine minorities, not just marginalized groups. Minorities are always the problem with both democracy and populism. What is popular with the majority is often directly harmful to minorities, there are numerous examples across history of majorities actively suppressing minorities. Hell there are numerous examples today!
My point in all this is to say that Lonnie is a very different type of character than what we’re used to. He’s relatable and intelligent and he makes many valid points. He was never intended to be a villain. We’re supposed to like him. But we’re not necessarily meant to agree with him. He represents the radicalism of youth, the misunderstanding of a person who hasn’t lived enough to truly grasp the scale of the world and its complexities. Lonnie Machin is a pure idealist. The reason why we only see him as an adolescent is because once he’s grown up he’s going to be very different from what we know and love. His goals and ideology will change drastically. Anarky is neither hero nor villain, they are a child with good intentions but disastrous consequences. At the same time, they are a sorely needed reminder that even here in the land of the free, true freedom is only an illusion. We’re all living under the thumb of late stage capitalism and an incredibly broken “democracy.”
No fear
Norm Breyfogle
absolutely obsessed with lonnie turning down alcohol on the grounds of not being old enough. the one law that must be upheld at all costs. the legal drinking age.
anarky (1997) #1
(Batman Adventures #31): I didn't expect to hear references to Plato in this comic book, but see? Anarky really knows his stuff. Pulling out philosophy quotes, fencing robin on the rooftops, it's really impressive. This should've been an episode of the tv series. If the 90s show had featured Anarky, that would've been great. I just wonder who would've played him. hmm...what actor could sell this? Especially if Anarky has a voice modulator to discuss his teenagehood? I wonder...
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I do not know enough about Anarky for this to be an informed impulse but I’ve always wondered how Red Hood and Anarky would get along. Like I know they were in a comic together for the Bat-Cat wedding thing but they really didn’t talk and it also didn’t seem like Anarky had a chance to be himself. How much do their respective anti-hero perspectives overlap? Would they like each other? They’re similar in age, no? If anyone has a guess I’m genuinely curious to know.
They’re similar in age as much as Tim and Jason are, which can depend on personal preference but is generally agreed upon to be one or two years.
In terms of ideology I would say there are surface similarities, but that’s about it. They are both violent vigilantes, but for Jason absolutely everything is personally motivated, whereas Lonnie has a much more world-encompassing vision. Jason is motivated by circumstances and emotions. Lonnie is motivated by well researched political philosophy, but little worldly experience, at least at first. Jason does target rich scumbags, but he also targets disenfranchised and marginalized people if he deems them reprehensible enough. Jason focuses on crime whereas Lonnie focuses on systemic issues and those abusing authority completely legally. Lonnie believes in the Voice of the People and made his Anarky identity a representation of anyone, gender less and ageless and acting on other peoples concerns rather than his own. Jason is completely and unapologetically himself at all times. Red Hood isn’t political.
As for how they’d get along, I think it could depend on the circumstances. I think Lonnie would be largely ambivalent about Jason and the Red Hood, but Jason could definitely hate Lonnie if given reason to. Because Lonnie grew up fairly well off and became a violent political extremist at age 12 and threw his incredibly bright future away in favor of vigilante justice, vandalism, and cyber crime. They’re both well read, but in very different subjects. Jason prefers fictional classics while Lonnie studies political and economic philosophy. Jason takes a very personal and empathetic approach to crime fighting, but Lonnie is much more distanced from others despite doing everything for The People. He’s got lofty ideas and often goes too far, isn’t good at accounting for human nature, and just has a very opposing view of the world and humanity to Jason. Given that, I think Lonnie would grate on Jason’s nerves if they were in each other’s company for an extended period of time, but they could have some very good conversations if the met in a casual setting, such as a wedding.
rebirth really couldn't do much right, could it? anarky my baby. look what they did to you. populist socialist?
his name is fucking anarky. its in the name. please. please. endorsing anti-feminists and capitalists? girl this isn't you. pre-52 anarky come home the kids miss you. in what world is the red fucking hood more woke than you. babe you're obsessing over the attention of Bruce Wayne, capitalist extraordinaire. stop.
white liberal rage? kill yourself? please
Actually I would say that description fits Lonnie very well when removed from the context of the modern political arena. Just going by the definitions of the words. He is a populist in that he believes that “the voice of the people is the voice of God.” He believes in popular opinion as the greatest authority. And socialism is hardly a bad thing, it’s basically democracy that actually cares about its people, which I think Lonnie would support so long as it elevated the voice of the people instead of politicians. That’s all. It’s not about who’s using the terminology currently, it’s about what it genuinely means.
Of course I haven’t read any Anarky comics that aren’t post-crisis and I don’t plan on it, so this is in no way a defense of the characterization.
