I mean. But, yeah.

divorcebearing hips

who is scott free and why are so many people getting him off

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

aborted abortion doctor: yea thats what i woulda did

i got assigned a grey alien pen pal and all I send him are polaroids of me grabbing my nuts &flipping the bird

crows and sad men, name a more iconic duo 😂❤

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.