Yes, this is Anrdei

it may interest some of you to know that there is likely an autoimmune/inflammation component of many mental illnesses that we do not fully understand yet. the immune system and the nervous system are very connected both to each other and to all our other systems in ways that, again, we do not fully understand

"Daily hydroxyzine at a dose of 25 mg was initiated and increased to twice a day, along with 10 mg cetirizine daily. The patient reported significant improvement and near complete resolution of both her phobia of blood and obsessive–compulsive thoughts and rituals."

at this point, if i were a practicing physician or psychiatrist, i would give every patient that reported idiopathic and treatment resistant syndromes of this type a modestly-dosed magnesium pill, a vitamin c pill, famotidine and ceterizine for a month before trying anything else. i am going to say with confidence we will see a big swing back towards "actual real physical etiologies have been abandoned in favor of a purely psychological-traumagenic and individualist theory of mental illness and its treatment and this was a mistake".

it doesn't count as crying if you don't let the tears fall~

if you drink my pain, you can swallow my pride by writer_in_theory (this is the only wip im keeping up with rn, and its sooo blazing hot)

where the city rests its feet by ireverents

down, dog by rendered (lovecubed)

good things come by Ccainao3 (and the rest of the series too)

Snake Bite by IlyaRizzanov (tbqh I didnt Actually jerk off to this one bc I read it at work but i WOULD have had i been at home. this fic is Too hot for work)

Buzzer Beater by mcshrug (if anyone out there hasnt read this series literally What are you doing)

hammerlock by plasticheartrings

some popular some not so popular fics that i adore. asterisks are favs that i can't be normal about.

character study

rookie of the year by medric / @bluegrasshole*

rozanov – not on hockey / vdud' (eng) by werevolche / gotthesunshinex *

mosquito by gone_girl

au (hockey, or not)

vessel by medric / @bluegrasshole*

clear to a hedgehog by @magneticwave*

for the right reasons by @citrusses*

house of mirrors by ratherunnecessary

win and bear it by anonymous (public plea to please...update)

hurts so good (angst/whump)

penalties by @citrusses*

show me how to be whole again by @rozanohwell*

send me back a thousand days by @rozanohwell*

if only a prayer by absolutelyhollanov*

dogging by @radialarch

everything else (yum yum )

running down the hills by hockeyfinches

ballad of a bisexual terminator by pressuretoparty

torture me (with all i’ve wanted) by toomuchplor

like for like by @smugrobotics*

love takes a mile by corsi

that'll leave a mark by subcorax

forget there's any other place by anonymous

Basically, Shane and Ilya never hook up at the CCM shoot, and Shane has a long-ish term girlfriend (I think her name was Noemie).

He then finds out she cheated on him with Ilya and goes to confront him at his apartment I think?That’s as far as I got before losing it

Okay this one was tough, not going to lie hahah. I searched through and through and this was truly difficulty. All the fics I have found are quite literally Shane cheating on Rose or on his shitty boyfriend 🤨 I am hoping the fic was not deleted ?!?!?!?!?!

I still tried to find fics with Shane + Original Female Character, but if you have any additional details that you think might help, I'm all for it. I'll list what I found below, and hopefully it's one of them. If not, we'll keep looking.

Destiny Calls, You Just Have To Ignore It. [AKA: COMPHET HOLLANDER] 

 fic about compulsory heterosexuality, performing, masking, and being really, really, horny for Ilya Rozanov.

things you could do

🔒 except for mutual professional disdain, a bit of personal annoyance, and an encounter in the showers during their rookie season (an encounter shane has spent years trying to forget), hollander and rozanov have nothing in common that isn’t hockey. destiny intervenes

Dating Shane Hollander 

Shane Hollander was good at hockey. Scratch that. Shane Hollander was fucking amazing at hockey. Shane Hollander was NOT good at talking to girls. Or asking them out. Or being attracted to them

Palisade (this one popped up so many times in my tag search so I'm adding it because this fic really wanted to be a part of this)

At the start of the season Ilya’s new team, the Ottawa Centaurs hire a social media and strategic initiatives manager. She’s a complicated individual, living her life in the gray area between right and wrong, and her reckless and borderline sociopathic behavior often wreaks havoc on those around her

the big hollanov masterlist

🌸 fluff-centric | 🦋 angst-centric | 🔥 smut-centric | 🌹 not-quite-smut, but a bit smutty | 🪻somehow doesn't fit into any of these

My works typically contain a mixture of, at the very least, the first two emojis. Emojis are just used to indicate which are the most prominent! Chances are you'll find multiple things.

This is a masterlist of my work! my blog is intended to cater to 18+ and adults only. While i am in no way saying teens cannot engage with fandom content (hell i was on the internet way too young), this account isn't for that.

I'm currently having to reorganize due to tumblr literally refusing to save some stuff, so sorry if you see things floating around! Completed fics are ordered by the date they were started, most recent to least recent. Once a WIP becomes completed, it will be organized this way too. Fics are separated into wips, series, completed multichapters fics, and completed oneshots. Chapters are tagged for specific content within them, work tags on a masterlist are the general tags of the work. All masterlists have a flower background. Masterlists without any photos are usually a series masterlist.

New Note for Links: The link that is hyperlinked into the title automatically leads to the AO3 link! Tumblr won't save this post if I have too many hyperlinks so the new tumblr links will be a link to a separate masterlist for the fic if it's three or more chapters. I hate to do this, it's kind of annoying to rearrange everything and I'd much prefer to keep it ALL here as it has been previously, but I've hit some kind of hyperlink limit and literally cannot update this post. This is the most organized way my brain wants to do things :)

dividers are from @saradika-graphics but i make my own headers!!

i want you flowing through my veins explicit, 3k, oneshot. they talk about kinks. shane asks ilya to spit in his mouth. it's almost sweet, and also hot.

lucky bastard mature, 10k, complete. part of a series (second one is also complete). they're very possessive of each other, even when they don't know if they should be. biting, tender feelings. also, spit kink. i have a theme.

serious teen, 1k, oneshot. svetlana walks into shane and ilya sharing a morning the day of the tuna melt.

the interview teen, 11k, ongoing. ilya rozanov does an interview in his native russian, translated. a very interesting look into what the rest of the world thinks of ilya, with some very cold commentary from ilya's part

for better or for rozanov mature, 3k, oneshot. a gossip magazine publishes a piece on shane hollander's possible (definitely real) secret marriage. ilya loses his mind.

offside explicit, 29k, ongoing. ilya's off hockey from a career-ending injury, coaching canada's team for the olympics. shane has grown up idolizing the man- but it's different training under him. he's too demanding, too strict, too much. but that's not always a bad thing. coach/player romance au

bite hard explicit, 9k, oneshot (part of a series, also has another complete fic. read both.) THE biting kink fic. ilya gets a tooth knocked out, and if you think they wouldn't be horny about that you're extremely wrong. this fic makes your jaw ache in sympathy.

it's too close for comfort teen, 7k, oneshot. anti-doping does their job, which includes showing up for ilya at shane's house.

road regrets explicit, 9k, oneshot. shane watches ilya's game, gets worked up watching him get slammed on the boards, and doms him through his phone about it.

now you're home mature, 4k, oneshot. ilya offers to pay shane for sex sometimes. surprisingly, it's both set in canon and also pretty emotionally sweet.

clear to a hedgehog explicit, 12k, oneshot. genuinely the only non-hockey player shane i've liked. ilya's regular montreal hookup is a doctor who definitely thinks he's in the bratva.

rescue kip 2017 teen, 500 words, oneshot. text fic. hollanov attempt to rescue kip from his dinosaur boyfriend. they are not very successful, but they tried.

im going to walk into the ocean, never to be seen again gen, 4k, oneshot. hollanov have svetlana over for lunch. shane invites rose for moral support. everyone is being very chill and normal about this, really.

all these little deaths explicit, 5k, incomplete. sadist ilya and masochist shane have a very fun and normal time with hockey injuries.

the (fake) fake marriage teen, 1k, oneshot. everyone knows ilya rozanov is just marrying hollander for the visa. the immigration office, respectfully, disagrees.

aching, aching, aching and alive explicit, 17k, oneshot. have you thought about fisting as a possible medium for character and emotional exploration? no? well, here you go. THE fisting fic.

berlin pond explicit, 6k, incomplete. somnophilia fic, and also feelings, and also texting that made me laugh a little too much.

every path was an improvisation gen, 2k, oneshot. the plane actually crashes, but they're okay. well, on a deserted island, but okay. the centaurs are mostly arguing about lord of the flies. ilya's worrying about the high odds that shane will just murder him when they get back.

shane hollander's notes app mature, 700 words, oneshot. goes through canon. some of the cons for rozanov include 'somewhat attractive'. terrific. i get him.

tell it slant teen, 7k, oneshot. ilya makes an anonymous online friend in his rookie era. it's probably not who you think.

me and my wild boy, and all of this wild joy unrated, 4k, oneshot. someone films hollanov having sex and posts it online. they get through it. it's hornier than you'd think.

edit: part three of this list because ao3 was down so i opened 50 tabs of fic to read in the meantime.

⤷ fandom : heated rivalry ⤷ pairing : shane hollander/ilya rozanov ⤷ wordcount : 6.5k ⤷ rating : explicit ⤷ tags : sexual overstimulation, multiple orgasms, no refractory period, consent play ⤷ summary : Ilya wanted to push Shane to his very limits- see how much he could bend, and see if he could make him break. Ilya just needed the opportunity, and that finally came during their game against the Toronto Guardians.

"You want it."

"N-nng-no." Shane choked. Tears slipped down his cheeks, his knuckles white where they helplessly gripped the bedsheets.

Ilya slowed his thrusts, cupping Shane's face. "Tell me it's too much."

Shane sobbed. "'S too much."

"Tell me you don't want this."

"I don't deserve this." Fat tears slipped from Shane's eyes. 

"Want."

"I don't-" Shane gasped, his eyes rolling back as Ilya hit his prostate. "I don't want- Jesus Christ."

 Ilya cupped Shane's face, swiping at his wet cheeks before running his fingers along Shane's bottom lip, letting the salt mix with saliva.

"You can say no," Ilya crooned, reaching down with one hand to palm Shane's barely-hard cock. "But I know this. You can't resist, can you?"

this is for @blushingrozy <3

warmth by ooihcnoiwlerh - cock warming, shane hollander has an oral fixation, body worship

spit in my mouth by marisferasi - 5 times the centaurs and other gc friends think ilya is being a pushy or bossy twat to shane, and one time they see shane's true colors.

the ghost of you by notwritinganovel - shane marries and then divorces rose and goes back to ilya.

and i spit out the seeds by linearity - a video of shane sucking ilya’s dick is leaked. over the next twenty-four hours, ilya goes on an odyssey.

deep misunderstanding by some1_around - hayden's pov, he feels like a bad friend to shane.

of a certain age by gurlsrool (anything by gurlsrool actually) marlow thinks ilya is dating shane's dad lmao.

tell me (what you need) by anarchyat4am - or: they communicate just a little bit better and let themselves be just a little more vulnerable, both with each other and their people.

just talk to me by feedmyflame - shane asks ilya to talk to him in russian while facefucking him.

to hate and to hold by writer_and_thrasher - hayden pov, shane has an autistic shutdown during dinner with the pikes and ilya takes care of him.

gather 'round the campfire by writer_and_thrasher - shane, ilya, hayden and jackie play never have i ever on vacation.

dana street (Series) by alspancakes - or, shane's a senior captain with an empty house over winter break. and ilya's the freshman who will be crashing his christmas.

WAG Hollanov

WAG Ilya

🏒 Please Leave a Message | 2.4k

Ilya Rozanov is, apparently, one of the girls

🏒 Ilya Rozanov vs The Power of Love | 4.0k

Ilya gets added to the Ottawa WAGs group chat.

🏒 Boston’s Worst Nightmare | 19.3k

It's 2016 and Ilya Rozanov has just been added to the WAG group chat as his alias lily, he is immediately befriended by them! There's one problem though... they don't know his true identity and wine night is in 3 weeks.

🏒 Team Canada Goes for Gold | 26.2k

Ilya is an Olympics WAG and angsty about it

🏒 All Around You, All the Time | 52.8k

ilya’s first year in ottawa looks a little different than originally planned, maybe sort of because he ends up spending it recovering a broken leg in his boyfriend’s apartment, but probably mostly because he meets jackie pike

WAG Shane

🏒 The Real WAGs, SAPs and WAPs of the Ottawa Centaurs | 2.8k

🔒 Shane reveals some details about his relationship with Ilya at the Ottawa Centaur WAGs night, and unintentionally outs himself as a bit of a freak

🏒 Shane Hollander vs. the Power of Friendship | 3.4k

Shane gets added to the Ottawa Centaurs WAG group chat and gets the support network he didn't know he needed.

🏒 WAGs + Harris | 3.8k

Shane is added to the Centaurs WAG + Harris chat at the beginning of the 20-21 season

🏒 Real Housewives of Ottawa | 4.5k

After deciding to be less intense about guarding their relationship, Jane joins the Centaurs WAG Group Chat.

🏒 First Time WAG | 7.7k

Ilya’s decision to fuck with Shane backfires spectacularly. And Shane gets a support system along the way.

🏒 Knights of the WAG Table | 15.0k

After harsh demand from the Ottawa Centaurs WAGS, Shane Hollander is added to their secret group chat. Chaos ensues

🏒 Roz’s Mystery Girl | 17.8k

'Jane' gets added to the Centaurs WAG groupchat, after Wyatt notices Roz wearing a ring...

🏒 Jane Is Ilya’s Favorite Lay | 60.1k

In an attempt to socialise in this new country Ilya puts 'jane' down as his WAG to connect to the team, this has unforeseen consequences for himself

🏒 Twitter SMAU

HOLLANOV FIC REC

I feel like I barely had words to describe these fics individually because they were all insanely fucking hot. There is so much good fucking cake out there folks and it just keeps coming. This list could be three times as long but I had to cap it at some point! If you like this list please rec your own fave smut fic in the comments ;) sharing is caring! 💖remember to kudos & comment on fics you read 💖

Smut Heavy

🏒 free rein by eleadore / @eleadore - 18k "Stop asking me if it's okay. If I want it. You're always, like—whatever. I'm not one of your fucking girls, okay? If I don't like it, I'll stop you. I can make you stop." zannithinks: Do I even need to say anything? If you haven't read this yet, you have homework to do. Chop chop.

🏒 Aching, Aching, Aching, and Alive by verbaepulchellae / @verbam - 17k They’re getting into a rhythm now, though, and Shane can see it. He can see this team winning the Cup this year. He tries not to get ahead of himself, tries to stay focused and go game by game, reminds himself that building up a team takes time and several seasons, but god. He wants this legacy: for himself, for Ottawa, for Ilya. For both of them and everyone else. Which is why, goddamnit, now is not the time to crash out over fantasies of Ilya working his whole hand down to the wrist into Shane’s ass and fucking him on his fist. And yet. - It starts, as a surprising number of things actually do, with a text from Rose. zannithinks: This is sooo intimate and grounded. I fucking LOVE their dialogue in this one, their personalities really shine through in every moment. A fic for those that love build up and realistic hiccups before the payoff.

🏒 it's like you never had wings by creamsicle_melt / @creamsiclemelt - 16k No, Ilya isn’t a martyr, but he isn’t selfish either. Tonight he wants to be selfish. Ilya wants to use Shane. He wants to use his willingness, his body, his everything to make himself feel better. It’s a truth. Maybe an ugly one, but one that he owes to both himself and to Shane to accept. Tonight will be about him. And Shane, for his part, is a willing participant in it all. ‘I want to be useful,’ he had said. zannithinks: this is a sucker punch to the gut. Holy crap was I blown away by the sheer intensity. Mean!Ilya is not fucking joking around.

🏒 excoriation by intertwingular / @shangyang - 12k Do you want something, Ilya had asked. The answer was, as it always was, yes. But that had not been the question. zannithinks: holy crap this is so intense. Character study through sex. You're not ready.

🏒 like one of your girls by creamsicle_melt / @creamsiclemelt - 5k Rozanov posts on Instagram a lot. Not on his feed, but his stories. Every time he lands in a city, he posts a story. Usually it's just back of his seat, or sometimes the view out the window—on the tarmac, never anything exciting, one of just many cities their lives are broken up into—and a location tag. Low effort. It’s pretty obvious what it is. Guys laugh about it, call it Rozanov’s Fuck Signal. The easiest way to get the hot girls who follow him to slide into his DMs. Easy pussy. zannithinks: another from this author because the way this had me horny and crying in the club(my bed at 3AM) insanity. Seriously captivating and gut-wrenching.

🏒 wash away these things i never needed by skvadern - 4k "Ilya," he says, and knows even as he says it that he's doing it wrong. That he doesn't sound at all serious about it, winded and belly up on the couch with his boyfriend taking up all the space in the world over him. "Get off me." Sure enough, Ilya snorts and doesn't move a muscle. "Say it like you actually mean it," he shoots back, "and maybe I will." - Shane and Ilya experiment with resistance and with trust. zannithinks: ok ok ok I have reread this one several times because Ilya calling Shane out really fucking gets to me! I love when CNC gets juicy by focusing on Ilya and the thin line of that first C.

🏒 the truth hurts worse than anything i could bring myself to do (to you) by slayswilde - 4k Ilya Rozanov is 36 years old, and he can still play good hockey. At least for now. But does hockey really matter when you have a rookie Shane Hollander standing at your doorstep? zannithinks: A rare AU that has captivated my mind, body, and spirit. A two part series, I would sell my left arm for more. I truly can't praise this enough. The sex, the dynamic, the ache in Ilya's chest. Perfection.

🏒 Edge Control by cacklefruit - 3k “So horny, Hollander.” Shane can feel Rozanov’s hot breath on his neck when he leans closer. One, two, three breaths, then, “Is all for me?” zannithinks: the flooooow ! This fic is written so deliciously and sinks you right into Shane's head.

🏒 Puck Bunny by Lilbaebloo - 3k Shane wears Ilya's jersey. Ilya's brain short-circuits. zannithinks: Fun!! The way Ilya gets hot and bothered and Shane is committed to the bit. The playfulness from Shane is such a huge treat. Let that boy be a little silly while also being a sexual demon!

🏒 close to heaven by lisa6 - 2k You think he gets off on that? Hayden texts, and Shane fights off the wild urge to send back, I do, just so that Hayden can knock some sense back into him. - Shane watches a Boston game. Ilya scores goals, trash-talks, and gets Shane hard in the process. zannithinks: masturbation fics aren't my typical flavour of choice, but WOW does this one get things steamy as fuck. An educational look on how Ilya being an asshole is a big turn on for Shane. Literally.

🏒 hotel, motel, holiday inn by mandathegreat - 2k Shane’s hands shook a bit as he knocked at the door, once, twice, three times. He waited, only a few seconds before the door opened, and Ilya Rozanov stood before him. His voice cracked a bit as he spoke. “Your luggage is here, Mister Rozanov, sir.” ... - Married Shane and Ilya revisit their bellboy role-play from the cottage. zannithinks: there's something about the boys doing a little roleplay that is so captivating. Perhaps it's the comfort between them allows a freedom to be a little silly and have FUN with their sex. Also a sucker for their personalities really coming through in banter as they fuck.

more rec lists: canon/canon divergent | a/b/o + bdsm au | outsider + hayden POV | soulmates | smut

Once again im here hi I do read a lot of HR fics

If you want more fic recs, please see the fixed post on my blog

☆ Unconventional soulmate AU

i've never needed a reason for keeping secrets from myself by blongblong

Mature / 9K / One-shot

shane hollander spends twenty-five years not thinking about his soulmate. the drawer in his apartment filled with cigarettes, toothpaste, and awful t-shirts says elsewise

(AU in which you are compelled to collect things your soulmate likes, series has 2 parts, each for one POV)

the heart is hard to translate by catknives

in a world where you can understand whatever language(s) your soulmate speaks, it takes Shane and Ilya an embarrassing amount of time to realize they're soulmates.

Explicit / 20K / Completed

(Amazing, you think the premise would make it easier for them to fall in love, it really doesn't - also has a second part with Ilya's POV ! )

☆ Hollanov talking about Lily / Jane

Gossip Girl by Northisnotup

Gen / 5K / One-shot

Coming out to the Pike's was not the plan for the evening.

It wasn't even in the top 10 list.

And yet, here Shane is, sitting on their living room floor, having fought Rose Landry to get his phone back, and making a Face. He knows he is making a face, he can feel his forehead scrunching and his jaw aching and he can do nothing about it except wait for -

"So who's Lily?!"

Fuck.

(Shane & Friendship)

But whose girlfriend is hotter? by noraster

Explicit / 29K / Completed

"Yeah, I know about Jane," Hollander said, with a murderous glance at Ilya. "But I'm surprised to hear Rozanov *talking* about Jane."

"He hasn't told us much," Harris said. "Just that she's beautiful, rich and talented."

"And a freak in the sheets," Ilya said, solemnly. "You cannot leave out the freak in the sheets."

(Funny but also real sweet)

☆ Montreal being nosy af

backdoor by guarddog (theslymoon)

Mature / 4K / One-shot

Shane gives impromptu sex education

(Shane gets to talk about sex with Montreal before coming out, they're impressed)

The Stairwell by fandom_commitment_issues

Mature / 4K / One-shot

JJ takes the stairs at the exact wrong time and overhears The Phone CallTM from Moscow. He, in canon typical fashion, does not take this well

(More serious vibe but really well written and everything alright by the end)

Busted by AC91

Explicit / 13K / One-shot

Hayden just wanted to surprise Shane with a guy's night in. Shane had been flat lately, and he and JJ thought it would be nice to distract him with friendship. How they ended up stuck in a fucking closet watching Shane get dicked down harder than anyone in the history of the world has ever been dicked down, Hayden would never quite understand

(Mortifying but really good)

☆ Again, amazing fics with weird concepts (love the crack treated seriously tag)

loving this body by beetlesandstars, kryptonian

Mature / 22K / One-shot

the hollanov bodyswap fic.

(Amazing 100% would recommend)

they don't know we know they know we know! by steviethefish

Explicit / 14K / One-shot

Troy asks Ilya for Shane's number. Ilya, not knowing how to say no without raising suspicion, gives it to him. Hijinks ensue. Secrets are revealed. Loosely inspired by the Friends episode The One Where Everybody Finds Out.

(I love the fics that spawned because of Troy's throwaway line about asking ilya for Shane's number)

☆ Really cute

shane hollander's guide to bottom prep by bisexualbuckley

Explicit / 13K / One-shot

shane hollander's foolproof bottom prep routine and how his lovely boyfriend takes care of him

(Lovely and also really informative)

Teeth - the story of ilya rozanov as told by dental trauma, incredibly sharp prose that made my jaw ache in sympathy

sympathy fuck - if you ever thought about how quickly ilya went from "my dad's dead" to "hey let's fuck" and went huh, this is for you

nothing makes me feel as good - jj boiziau & his relationship with the terrifying creature that is shane hollander, really hits the sweet spot of shane's characterization as the guy who's so good at one thing that you either love him, hate him, or both

2.0 - people assume ilya is david's son more than shane, with all the heartbreak that comes with it

Decisions, Decisions - the slippery slope to 24/7 total power exchange, or as one comment puts it "Why did this FEEL like 22k of porn without there being ANY smut what so ever that's SKILL"

daisy chain - hanahaki, or the absolutely terrifying realization that if you get the surgery you will live but will you, really? if so much of yourself is caught up in one person?

crossfire - shane/ilya/marleau threesome that's just. so hot in that dripping-in-luxury-and-bad-decision-making way

advice from fools - shane hollander handles being a boyfriend (not ilya's) with uh. a certain amount of grace. which is zero. absolutely fascinating man

that'll leave a mark - i never get tired of "shane & the inherent violence of hockey" fics and this one also has beautiful outsider povs along the different fights

And a Sense of Guilt I Can't Deny - a yuna fic that made me ugly sob

☆ Being perceived by the (evil) media

I'm 47 and AFRAID of ilya rozanov by persimmon_tea

Ilya Rozanov and Troy Barrett are photographed leaving Scott Hunter's gay bar. Social media decides this must mean... they're homophobic?

(The internet is stupid, who would have seen that coming ? Special shout out to part two because I laughed out loud way too much)

Freedom4Lily by HollowIsTheWorld

Teen / 2K / One-shot

BREAKING NEWS: MHL star Shane Hollander photographed on his phone while out with his team in Las Vegas after a win, and the texts that can be seen suggest Montreal's 'Golden Boy' of hockey may not be the catch he's always appeared to be... [read more]

("Lily"s text getting leaked - amazing concept)

☆ Shane 🤝 an autism diagnosis (thank god)

he turns off the big light by gurlsrool

Mature / 9K / One-shot

Or: Ilya Rozanov has a lot of good ideas. Telling his fuck buddy that he should consider getting an autism diagnosis isn't one of them.

(Shane being cared of ??? Absolutely give me twenty of that)

you're standing in my light by kyperbees

Teen / 4K / One-shot

or: shane hollander gets an autism diagnosis at age thirty-two. it changes nothing, and also everything.

(Really good exploration of Shane's feelings post diagnosis)

☆ Non-hockey AUs

Pour Decisions by hermacology

Teen / 7K / One-shot

Hayden Pike and his group chat of coworkers are pretty sure their new manager Shane has a parasocial obsession with a professional hockey player.

He talks about him constantly, knows everything about him, watches every game, and even has candid photos of him that are definitely not available through conventional sources. So naturally, they decide to intervene to find him a man who actually knows he exists.

Shane, for his part, has no idea what they're talking about.

(Really fucking funny - has a little bit of hockey)

careful fear and dead devotion by CorvidCordelia

Explicit / 44K / Completed

Or, Shane and Ilya are cast in a production of Ember & Ice and eventually they fuck about it.

(Love this, really interested premise without being RPF)

Dr. Hollander's Mysterious Husband by Carnival Mira

Explicit/ 6K / One-shot

Shane loses his wedding band and the neurology department discovers Dr Shane Hollander has a husband... who works in the hospital's ER. Now they're determined to uncover the identity of his mysterious husband.

(Really fun - reminded me of The Pitt)

☆ Fics about Shane signing (yes it's a genre)

The Rooms Left Unopened (The Man I Need) by Snakeswithsocks

Mature / 32K / Completed

or; Shane Hollander's music choices and Ilya's discovery of Shane's autism and their shared experiences post-cannon.

(Absolutely lovely)

Trending: J.A.N.E.I.F.Y.'s New Song Just Dropped And We're All Asking - Who is J.A.N.E.I.F.Y.? by sleepixgstars

Teen / 13K / Completed

AKA the one where Shane and Ilya are married and in love and Shane is a little insecure about his ability to love his husband. So he becomes a faceless pop sensation. By accident. Mostly? It's complicated.

no one is asking for this but i have to make my one million hours on ao3 mean something

the texture of memory: to write a silly blurb would do it a disservice i think, but just read it i am so serious, completed

your presence has gone through me (like needle through a thread): ilya gets a family and i cry one million tears of joy, wip

the anatomy of a bird heart in slow decay: an impossible love story and meditation on grief, mothers and sons, and survival. featuring ghosts in the literal sense. completed

fall in love again and again: the classic tuna-melt groundhog day, with a house of leaves flavour, completed

Jessica: teenaged shane as seen through his relationship with his high school girlfriend, i love them both so unbearably much, completed

home economics: nhl lockout leads to hollanov living together in the situationship era-there's no way this could go wrong! completed

Route 96 Kanata: shane suffers a career ending injury before meeting ilya but where there's a will there's a tortured hollanov situationship nonetheless. full of fantastic ottawan idiosyncrasies. wip

World on Your Shoulders: what if shane had a queer rookie while deep in the midst of his internalized homophobia "i'm not gay" era? fascinating and wonderfully pessimistic characterization, this whole series is a dark comedy that i want to swallow whole, completed

wunderkind: breathtaking look into yuna hollander's inner world but everyone really shines through wonderfully here (ilya my heart i love you so much), completed

I have only two emotions (careful fear and dead devotion): shane disappears from hockey post prospect cup and hollanov meets again much farther down the road, gorgeous tender slow burn, wip

we'll make a home on the cracks: journalist shane fights his way out of an ethics torment nexus and finds true love <3 cute hollanov & fun shane characterization, wip

car wash redhead, tube top R.E.M. concert, juror #6: hollanov character study, power and love, i adore those freaks so much <3, completed

frequently, secretly fond of each other: boston! shane, you know it you love it, wip

some pacific wind: the pains of being asian in a nearly all-white sport and having to communicate to the world exclusively in your second language: a hollanov conversation, completed

side note: all of satorussuguru's heated rivalry fics are fantastic and are on here in spirit if not in actual text

It had to be you, Wonderful you: transmasc ilya you are soooo dear to me, completed

Offside: coach/player forbidden hollanov but it's sweeter than you would expect. wip

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago: climbing inside your soulmates body is a thing that is both normal to want and possible to have (ft. painful but warming version of shane's life post. career ending injury), wip

dark out and still thirty degrees: one of the only a/b/o fics i've ever enjoyed (sorry), dives into the misogyny in the bones of the genre in a way that's very cathartic for me. ft. a fascinating trans shane journey. completed

head and body to you: tortured self-destructive shane character study, toxic? situationship hollanov, canon-typical emotion development through the lens of sex, completed

the soviet montage: obviously already popular but i had to, cold-war era hollanov post. ilya's defection from the soviet union, completed

i've been waiting my whole life to know i wanted you: deep dive into shane's militant self denial that also fleshes out a much more culturally-connected japanese-canadian experience for him. #lifegetsbetter(eventually), completed

pronoms possessifs: shane writes a love letter, just wonderful completed

Home Ice Advantage: another boston! shane but diving more deeply into how being traded would impact the hockey of it all, very perfectionism torment nexus, completed (with wip sequel)

Blizost: what if you could climb inside your lover and share one body between two souls?, wip

Mama's Boy, Mama's Boy: shane hollander's journey if the whole time he was also haunted by his situationship's dead mom, fantastic irina characterization, completed

cracked plexiglass: canon rewrite that fleshes out a version of shane's pre-NHL hockey career that's more realistic to the actual environment of high level Canadian juniors, very very good, wip

i know where to draw the line: older captain shane and younger teammate ilya, super cute, completed

Overlay: very well written, read the authors note in the beginning before starting, completed

one of your eyes is always half-shut (something happened when you were a kid): it's GivingAlexeiDimensionality2026 !! such a gut punch to read as an older sibling, completed

Plexiglass Box: what if hollanov met as teens in Moscow? (ilya x coach's son but it was shane the whole time), Excellent tension, completed (sequel incoming hopefully)

but what if I need you in my darkest hour? : our favorite hockey players plane crash Bad on the way to 2017 All Stars, painful in all the ways, completed

always, sun: canon,,,,,,,divergence?? magical realism, gorgeous and vaguely terrifying, completed

I. ONE LITTLE GOD FALLING OVER ANOTHER: the last year in boston, has hardly begun but the mixed media format is so good and the tension is so thick,,,,,pit in my stomach as i eagerly await the rest, wip

nothing makes me feel as good: shane character study through jj's eyes, god im so obsessed with this crazy crazy man, completed

Hello From Moscow, Goodbye from Montreal: canon divergence circa 2012 where ilya calls shane drunk one night, and keeps calling after that, equally funny and devastating, wip

there are like millions more that i will add once i remember them