the heart knows what it wants

there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it

you want REAL enemies to lovers? they're from rival countries who wage war against one another. he steals from her, over and over again. she maims him. she's the reason he has nightmares. she's the only one who can soothe him. calf love that survives amputation. she jokes about poisoning him. he kills for her honour. she lets him do whatever he wants. he kidnaps her so she will marry him. they wear matching embroidery. she cried on their wedding night. he saved her from her fate. she saved him from his fate. he didn't marry her to become king. he became king because he wanted to marry her. they're both just two lonely kids. the gods themselves have been rooting for them.

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.