head empty only b(l)aseball

words cannot describe how much i love showering. my wet contemplative box

they used to do nothing to me back in the morally neutral lab. it sucked

you were the control

fuuuuck what were they doing to the other folks #fomo

I ythink doctor egg man should buttfuck the master emerald. bye!

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

ads targeted to women: omg you are thirtyyyy. kill yourself

people aren't even getting a little bit genghis khan anymore. you guys used to love getting a little bit genghis khan

50 cent was lowkey the most important man in my household growing up like it went 50 cent then jesus christ

i vividly remember my parents arguing once and my mom yelled “you’re not even half the man 50 is” then my dad slammed a door and left. these people raised me

Jesus had 5 wounds and 50 cent has 8. I know who suffered more for the sins of humanity

i’m pretty certain that’s the exact thing my mom said that got me formally asked not to come back to youth group on wednesdays