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@awildervoid
WHY ARE YOU HAUNTED?
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Fight, Flight, Posture, or Submit
I just noticed a dynamic between these guys that Iâd never quite put together before: in precise contrast to what Will thinks he wants, he will always fail to follow through on a lethal confrontation with Hannibal if (and only if) Hannibal makes a show of rolling over for him.
Bear with me for a sec because this is kind of fascinating: a while ago, I read a book called On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society. The author Dave Grossman proposed a theory which jives with a lot of stuff I learned in anthropology classes, but he has a particularly pithy way of describing it. Between animals of the same species, he says, the choices of behavior in a confrontation arenât as simple as the âfight or flightâ choice we usually talk about.
Grossman calls his model âfight, flight, posture, or submit.â This model takes into account a common trait among most animals (including humans): members of the same species almost never jump immediately to the âfightâ option in a confrontation. Doing so would result in needless deaths, particularly among younger individuals who havenât yet learned to defend themselves, and then to eventual depopulation and extinction.
Instead, animals tend to begin confrontations by posturing â by making a show of their superiority in an attempt to make the other party back down. If, during the posturing phase, it becomes clear that the individuals are fairly evenly matched, they are likely to start a physical fight in order to establish dominance, while still avoiding lethal attacks if possible.
However, if it becomes clear during the posturing phase that one of the individuals is definitely strong enough to defeat the other one, the weaker opponent will do one of two things: flee or submit. Iâll just quote the book here:
âSubmission is a surprisingly common response, usually taking the form of fawning and exposing some vulnerable portion of the anatomy to the victor, in the instinctive knowledge that the opponent will not kill or further harm one of its own kind once it has surrendered.â
So, now that weâve got all that context out of the way, letâs talk about Will and Hannibal!
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To kick off the month, my sister and I are rewatching the show and rereading the book.
And today, in the middle of ep 1, my sister goes âhave you noticed Crowley puts himself between Aziraphale and the traffic? My ex also did that, thatâs so sweetâ
Well NOW IâVE NOTICED
(Tbf itâs probably coincidence born from Crowleyâs habit of staying firmly at Aziraphaleâs left, but still. Putting yourself between the lady and the traffic is considered chivalrous here, if pretty old fashioned)
Itâs definitely more than that. When theyâre crossing, Aziraphale acting oblivious as ever, Crowley holds up a hand towards traffic like, âYeah, wait a sec, just let him cross.â And then they get to the other side and Crowley moves to his right just as some pedestrians come up, forcing them to step around and actually off the sidewalk a little, rather than bump into Aziraphale.
Whether the traffic is vehicular or human, Crowley provides a buffer between it and the angel - whoâs probably protected by subconscious miracles anyway, but thatâs not the point. The point is this is just another of those things Crowley does to show love and friendship and protectiveness without saying a word.
Ha, youâre right! And (just like Crowley walking across the grass at Tadfield Manor) it could be just to set them up for the blocking of the âGet thee behind me! After you.â moment, but I like this in-world explanation for it. :-D
Tingle just cranked out 50k words for a spite story for JKR and I am LIVING for it!
An absolute legend
hey, not to be the one wielding the 'studio-led sequel culture strips out the message of the original work' sword, but i feel like there's a parable out there about corporations ignoring scientific advice in the face of endangering the masses for profit, and i just can't remember what it is.

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Crowley is responsible for Ikea
*Crowley in Hell in 1943*
Crowley: So the idea is to make this massive super center where people can buy everything and anything for their home at unreasonably low prices...
Ligur: That doesn't sound very evil...
Crowley: EXACTLY! Too good to be true, right? Until you get there. Then you're shuffled through this endless maze of choices and ideas and inspiration for all of your decorating needs. You end up spending hours there, drudging from show room to show room.
Ligur: I still fail to see what about that...
Crowley: Are you kidding me?!? Husbands and wives arguing over which dining room set best matches their living room. Kids crying for cheap toys that mum and dad keep saying 'no' to. GIANT shopping bags that allow for a bunch of the tiny household and office appliances you didn't know you needed, but they're oh so cheap!!! Everyone leaves frustrated, compromised, and broke! I'm effectively turning their freedom of choice against them! And the best part? Once they've endured all of that... They have to go home and build the furniture themselves, spending even more hours decoded the instructions and diagrams!
Hastur: But if people are going to get so frustrated and angry, then why won't they just leave?
Crowley: They can't! I purposely influenced the chief architect to create a pathway that they are literally herded though like cattle! They can't leave until they walk all the way through!
Beelzebub: But why would people go there if they know it's going to take them hours to shop?
Crowley: I'm actually quite proud of this bit; we put a resturaunt right in the middle! Swedish food, Swedish dishes, and desserts so rich that the children are wound back up and bouncing off the walls for the rest of the trek! They break things, demand for more toys, and frustrate their parents even more!
Hastur: Why Swedish?
Crowley: Why not?
Hastur:
Ligur:
Beelzebub:
Crowley: Can I get a vĂĽhoo?
dreams about bleeding hearts and morning glories
Some people just need training wheels. Slap those fuckers on so we can all ride.
I spent the morning at the archery range with my coworker and somehow I consistently struck my targetâevery single timeâin the groin. My arrows were snugly nestled side-by side, right in the crotch. It is my specialty.
Why are you shooting at Bigfoot?
itâs an American tradition
someone had previously shot off his thumb, so I took the severed digit, wedged it delicately between his thighs, and told the range that Iâd buy a drink for whoever shot it off.
surprise to surprise: it ended up being me, resident expert on shooting Bigfoot in the groin. the makeshift dong flew up into the air, turned end over end a few times, and flopped onto the ground several feet away.
???? American???? Iâm what??? Iâm crying Iâm American and literally have never heard of this?????? Pls explain
shooting Bigfoot in the dick is a long American tradition. in some states youâre not considered a real adult until you can zap him right in the wanger. Iâve heard that Nebraska wonât even let you drive a car unless youâve made your BFDS (Bigfoot Dick Shot) with a qualified witness present. in my hometown someoneâs marriage got annulled and they served time in jail because it came out that theyâd cheated on their BFDS.
Uhhhh wtf????
itâs not super well known outside of North America (Iâm not sure if all of Canada dies BFDS or just British Columbia) because it doesnât make it into our media much because, well, you canât show Bigfootâs dick on TV, can you? it wouldnât be right. if you just visit the States, you donât have to do BFDS, but if you plant to emigrate itâs a legal requirement.
note: itâs illegal to kill Bigfoot. you have to shoot him in the dick but if you kill him you have to pay a huge fine and it goes on your permanent record. unfortunately the money that comes from BFDS never seems to get put back into the community.
Can confirm. Here in Iowa you canât get your driverâs license or a mortgage until you can submit either video evidence or a picture signed by a notary of you shooting off Bigfootâs dick.

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I am:
âŞď¸ A man
âŞď¸ A woman
đ Just here for the cult stuff
Unmute !
Brilliant defense mechanism. The hawks canât get you if youâre under a tree.
This is so cool!!!
Chickens are so underrated, I love them
the human rights campaign is suing the trump administration over their decision to do what theyâre doing to section 1557 of the affordable care act, allowing medical care providers to refuse service to trans people. if you can donate, please do. iâm going to try and figure out literally any way i can make extra money so that i can donate as well in my current situation.
there was an overwhelming consensus about this
hug this man

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I always find it funny when books like Harry Potter and Percy Jackson get crap for being âwitchcraftâ and âanti-christianâ but you know who no one ever talks about? Phillip Pullman and his masterpiece His Dark Materials trilogy. Some of you may recognize the first bookâs title, The Golden Compass from the awful movie adaption, but seriously those books are so so good and full of badass witches rebelling against the vadican for mutilating children, gay ass angels who join the rebellion so they can be free to love each other, an ex nun who escapes the oppression of the church to pursue a life of science, a little girl who is so good at manipulating she overthrows an entire empire in one day, and a 12 year old boy who murders god with a knife
Phillip Pullman is legitimately baffled that Christians got all upset about Harry Potter when he was writing HDM at the same time. And typically when authors have those themes, they still say in interviews that itâs just a story and/or their writing about religious corruption than religion itself. But Pullman just goes and says âIf God as the Christians imagine him exist, it would be a moral duty to kill himâ (paraphrasing)
As a Jew, I second that sentiment of Pullmanâs.
âď¸
Phillip Pullman: I think Narnia is toxic and bad for children and this series is quite literally meant to destroy it
Everyone: Haha okay sounds like wacky good fun
Pullman: everyoneâs soul is manifested in a separate entity called quite literally a daemon
Everyone: sounds cute, nice aesthetic
Pullman: these children shall destroy the concept of heaven and hell
Everyone: ah bless
Pullman: they join with rebel angels to create a republic of heaven
Everyone: such cute fantasy
Pullman: âIf there is no longer a king, or a kingdom of heaven, it will have to be a republic in which we are free citizens. We ourselves as citizens have to build the republic of heaven.â
Everyone: NEVER understood the elephant wheels thing tho