When the world ends it will all have been

offers 5 delete buttons

and no post button

Many, many people celebrated Pulse. We were told we deserved it. That it was God’s punishment for our sin of loving the same sex. We are sent messages like these I received in 2018:

We in the community often call the victim count 49+ to include the survivors who couldn’t live with the pain.

The event was never officially declared a hate crime or targeted homophobic attack and is rarely listed as one in databases.

At our vigils for those slaughtered, Extremist Christian groups showed up to protest, holding signs like this:

ID: Me kissing a woman I was casually seeing in front of an angry looking man with a “Sodomy is Sin” sign.

Please understand how much more than just a mass shooting this was. We are still to this day harassed and told we deserved it by some.

She returns in the third season, where her former boss Gordon Cole, told everyone who wasn't willing to support her for her identity, to fix their hearts or die. The phrase "fix your hearts or die" was eventually appropriated by the transgender community and became a common phrase used against transphobes.

Also remember that Laura Palmer and Dale Cooper, the main characters of the show, are bisexual, and have canonically related and felt seen in queer spaces (there's also a scrapped scene from Fire Walk With Me where Laura and Donna were going to kiss, and the infamous deleted scene where it seemed Cooper was going to kiss Harry after the Miss Twin Peaks show). And they're not the only ones who are bisexual! Ronette Pulaski, Theresa Banks and Bobby Briggs are also bisexual.

I have to mention that BOB was played by Frank Silva, a non-white gay man who sadly passed away due to AIDS complications in 1995. Frank had been involved in Lynch productions since Dune, and everybody honours and remembers Frank fondly, saying he was the sweetest man you could ever meet.

Saying "Not all rap music is about violence, here are alternatives" is not helpful, because the violent music ALSO has meaning.

When Biggie Smalls postures about his gang connections and packing heat, he isn't doing it because wow violence is so edgy, it's a powerful statement. Youth in urban areas where gang activity is heavy are often treated as lesser than by default, especially compared to black people the same age from a wealthy background. There's a reason that the "wholesome and respectable" black-lead entertainment of that era was stuff like the Cosby Show, with doctor-lawyer parents, or Family Matters, with a cop dad. There's a reason why the big joke of Fresh Prince is someone with a more unstable upbringing moving in with one of these model black sitcom families.

Standing up and saying yeah, I came from the mean streets, I was molded by this violence and yes, I did what I had to do to survive in a world that refuses to acknowledge my existence as meaningful or worthy of protection. I protected myself, I made my own way, and fuck anybody who tries to stand in the way of that.

Refusing to demonize that environment and wearing it like armor in a way that protects from the authority that wants you to see them as sub humans incapable of only violence and hatred, and saying HEY. I'm here, I lived this, and there is love and there is pain and there is ART in this.

That is powerful. That is the essence of gangster rap.

It isn't about hurting people for fun, it's about holding a mirror up to a society that does the hurting and then calls you a monster for what it's made you. Its about validating the experiences of the disenfranchised and biting back at authority. It's about turning a pain that the world say you deserve being one of those people from those places into POETRY. Into ART.

And thats why it matters.

I'm sick and entirely tired of having to defend my entire young life to people who want to do nothing but insult the music that helped make me ME.

I get around a lot of people who look at me and see a role model. They see something they aspire to be. They see a life they want.

And so they approach me and talk to me and I am excited to share my culture with them. All the way until, for the 784th time in a row, someone tells me "I don't listen to rap"

Or

"I only listen to music with real instruments"

Or

"I have to be in the right mood to listen to that, which almost never happens"

And they don't see how insulting that is. To walk up to me, tell me you like me, that you want to be like me, but then ignore one of the things that makes me me.

You don't want to be like me. You want to fucking cosplay as me. You don't want to watch the movies I watch, listen to the music I like, enjoy a meal or a coffee with me, or interact with anything that I create. So tell me again just exactly what it is you like about me?

What my clothes and the color of my hair? You're missing the whole fucking point of why I keep color in my hair. I never wanted to stand out. I just stood out anyway because people would fucking pick me out. People singled me out. Teachers, preachers, family, strangers, cops, leaders, and outcasts alike all looked at me no matter how boring I dressed and decided that I am meant to stand out. So I decided to stop hiding and stand out on my fucking own

It's the same thing with rap music.

These people did what they had to do to survive, and you don't get to tell them their music isn't valuable because it's not the same as the soft rock that has been playing around the world on repeat for the past 50 years.

Every fucking time I bring up a black artist I like somebody tells me they haven't heard of them and then brings up some black artist wrapped up in controversy to try to pretend THAT'S why they can't listen to black music.

"Oh she's too sexual"

OK listen to the music I listen to. It's not sexual. And even if it was, it would still be fucking valid.

"Oh he's too violent"

OK listen to the music I listen to. It's not violent. And even if it was, it would still be fucking valid.

And by the end of the conversation, they've been introduced to 7 new wholesome amazing artists that they've never heard of and will never listen to again

Because they're FUCKING RACIST

Fuck you and fuck your attitude about black music. Listen to black music