>VERBOSE Maximum verbosity.

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

Don't forget to kill it by removing the batery instead of just keeping it in. The Styxpass doesn't care either way, but there's no reason to contaminate the actual burrial site with lithium leaching out.

That's what I also immediately thought of even before I scrolled down to your addition.

hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel

500 MILES?!?!?!

this blows i shouldve taken the old town road to where the streets have no name. i cant believe i have to drive 500 miles. wait hang on i have to what.

hallelujah im almost there! i walked across the bridge over troubled water and through the tunnel of love. i can see signs for paradise city which means im not far from funkytown! it’s been a long long time since i was there. anyway i don’t wanna linger here sooooo what do i do after i walk 500 miles

FUCK this. FUCK this and FUCK your hotel. YOU wanna walk on and on and on then you can go your own way but IM heading back to my fast car and getting on the road again. fuuuuuck i’m exhausted and i literally need a place to stay the night and wait wait okay rant cancelled. some guys are telling me there’s no need to feel down 

oh what a night! that sure was fun! but im out in the boonies and still need to get home haha so let’s see. ummmm i left my car on penny lane after i got in a teensy little accident (you will not believe what i was struck by). the car is fine fortunately! it’s just farms around here tho so like i don’t rlly know how the hell im gonna get back to my house but WHOAAAAA wait yeah. that’ll do it. guys i just remembered something really great about country roads 

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

The tumblrest sentence I have ever seen

[Image description: What it says on the tin -- er, on the copper -- but more: The writing is in vertical columns each centered on a line, running down from a horizontal line, giving the effect of a delicate curtain of beads with an irregular bottom edge. The individual characters resemble triangles and circles and are connected with looping spirals and curves. The wooden frame is stained the blue-green color of oxidized copper, contrasting with the polished red-brown surface of the copper itself. /end description]

I think that part of what irks me about AI being used even for "small" stuff like meme graphics (aside from all the larger problems obviously) is like.... the time spent on it was part of the humor. "this is a silly inconsequential joke but I had to stop everything and spend 5 minutes making it" was, at least for me, part of the joke. Someone really took time out of their day to make me look at something silly they took time out of their day to make. Now it's like someone took time out of my day to make me look at something no one even made. Stop wasting my time if you aren't wasting yours too.

A story set in a pre-internet era, about someone accidentally finding themselves in the ownership of a small printing press, and starting a recreational hobby zero standards newspaper The Local Bullshit, which consists 100% of articles written by the printer's friends, all of which are random shower thought rambles of whatever the fuck they were thinking of at the time. The magazine inexplicably grows an audience of people who enjoy reading this physical long-form version of one dork squad's group chat, whose members are somewhat confused but flattered about suddenly being regarded as some sort of a cool exclusive social clique, instead of just being a bunch of weird nerds.

This sorta happened to me a little bit. I did a zine in high school (so, mid-90s; not exactly pre-internet but early times for most people when home dialup service was just catching on) which was just this kind of "my peer-group's bullshit" content. The "printing press" was me with a gluestick and then a photocopy shop, and the audience was not that much bigger than the writers ourselves, but hey. People occasionally slipped money in my locker to pay for a copy, so.

You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this

Please, how do you know this?

quicksand does not have any hands

Oat milk was discovered much more recently than you may have known. Like many now-familiar technologies, it was found by accident during the Apollo program when NASA learned what a zero-g environment does to goat milk.

the situation with harry potter is kind of unprecedented in some ways imo because it is maybe the largest media franchise in history to be created & owned by a single person who still has direct creative control over it. who is also a billionaire with significant cultural/political influence. like the usual "no ethical consumption under capitalism" type excuses shatter on impact when the bigoted author in question is logging onto twitter every day saying explicitly that when you buy the tim hortons ravenclaw donut she is using your donut money to fund the genocide of trans people. like with big franchises usually there's at least a little more diffusion of responsibility than this

[Image description: A color drawing of a lucky cat (maneki-neko) in a cute cartoon style. The cat has one front paw raised next to its face. Its coat is blue with darker blue spots, and pink inside its ears and pink claws. It is also wearing a pink sleeping mask with closed eyes drawn on it, and clutches a pillow in the other front paw. The pillowcase is decorated with yellow shooting stars. /end description]