it was only a SMALL EXPLOSION, MOM.

as hanukkah approaches, please keep all of the second-born siblings of jewish households in your thoughts. they have to eat the candles as a part of our hanukkah celebrations each year, so if you aren’t jewish yourself, the best way to show your support for them is to eat a batch of candles (night of hanukkah # + 1) in their honor. they will appreciate it a lot.

Idk what extremely online liberal needs to hear this but writing Harry Potter fanfiction with trans characters does absolutely nothing to resolve or mitigate the damage that she is actively doing to global politics and especially doesn't change any of the racism, andtisemitism, and misogyny present in the original books

No senator or congressperson is going to read your transbian Hermion fanfiction and decide to support trans rights, but they absolutely are going to quote JKR when voting against queer rights

The only way to actually lessen the damage that she is doing is to push her out of all public discourse, pretend she doesn't exist, and shut down anyone trying to talk about her

who is philip and where’s he gettin all this head from 😳

Forbidden nesquik 

will it fix my iron deficiency

что, черт возьми?

я не знаю, что происходит. Я устал и использую онлайн-переводчиков для подделки поддельных русских подписей. Я боюсь, как быстро мои родители стареют.

Я не верю, что ваши предки быстро возрастут, если вы продолжаете смотреть на них. ибо время - это река, которая течет, как море, и не берет ни одного заключенного. доверяете ли вы тому, что говорят вам пальцы? освободить их

Наконец-то люди говорят на нормальном языке 

ах, другой, кто говорит на высшем языке! я рад вас встретить. я также боюсь, как быстро мои пальцы ног упадут и боятся за будущее моего младшего брата

Я призываю древних демонов. и откладывать на поверхность земли. Истребите человеческие отходы, как те, которые у них есть; пировать их мозги, как поп-пироги прямо из сумки.

кто-нибудь в этой теме курил сорняк?

Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?

Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren't spicy???

Regular pine needles are regular

Not by rosemary standards

...Have you eaten pine needles?

We've been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if I've eaten pine needles or not

I mean I’m pretty sure you have but I don’t want to assume

Of course I've eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best

You know, I'd love to tell you but I'm pretty unclear about what marks the difference between "spice" and "strong-tasting plant that isn't considered a spice"

I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out

Ok but it only counts if they're PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree

I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see

Please Don't Do That

Needle-Like Leaf Roulette

...I'll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.

I can try very hard not to

Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews don't have the sheath thing

It’s time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves

Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life

this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again

this was worse than getting rick rolled

rewatching it with context and “cant sing” 💀

a long sleeve shirt that says sleeves are bullshit

a shirt that says ‘suns out guns out’ but is also long sleeve 

a shirt that says ‘i flexed and the sleeves fell off’ but the sleeves are definitely still there

The very first line of the song - I shit you not - I legitimately felt the physical sensation of my soul leaving out of my chest and Ascending.

no but seriously Zuko calls Iroh mostly by Uncle the whole time so it’s OBVIOUS to the tea shop customers that he was probably orphaned by the fire nation and Iroh lost a sibling (and that’s the stuff they can piece together from going there who knows what they went through even before!). And because that happened when they were still on the outer layers of Ba Sing Se the people there were aware of the war so… seriously Jet. Seriously. Tztztz.