Trembling as he held a hand mirror to his face to behold his ghastly new form, internet personality Clavicular reportedly woke up as a hideous, jawless monster Thursday after rating an old crone’s looks a four out of 10. “Oh God, oh God—what has she done? I’m a monstrosity! I’m hideous!” said the formerly chisel-jawed influencer and champion of the “looksmaxxing” subculture, clutching for the now-nonexistent jawline that had somehow disappeared overnight, likely due to a vengeful act by the old, wizened hag whose looks he had judged as “mid” in a late-night livestream.
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