A Day in the Life of...

I apologize.

insert that YOU chihuahua post where theyre being pinned down i cant for the life of me find it

Oh, Charles. The hubris. Honey. You had to know this was a possibility. Why would you tempt Apollo like that.

I love how we don't even need Apollo to be captioned, it's just "he's holding a dodgeball and looks Greek statue, of COURSE it's Apollo delivering the gift of prophecy unto unsuspecting tumblr users"

I love how that is a particularly unconventional sort of chihuahua

*shouting over my shoulder* it’s the fucking chocolate guy again!!

fucking chocolate guy!!

*shouting from another room* WHAT’S THAT LUNATIC DONE NOW??

I WROTE SOMETHING AS LONG AS MOBY DICK AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW

in conclusion: all you fic writers are amazing and deserve more love

Men's 38-in-one night time sickness cold & flu shampoo & conditioner toothpaste and mouthwash combo (plus nourishing skin formula with hydrating aloe)

be right back guys i need to run out to O'Reilly's Auto Parts and get another jug of Boy Juice to soak in, got a big day tomorrow and want to wash up, brush my teeth, take care of these sniffles, and exfoliate

It's also biodegradeable so you can take it camping without worrying about harming the enviornment, the bottle is 100% recycleable and makes for decent reading material if you're stuck on the can, it's also good dish soap and the peppermint one is so intensely flavored that a morning shower with it is a sufficient replacement for 2-4 cups of coffee.

People who can withstand aersolised peppermint Dr. Bronner's in a morning shower without spontaneously combusting in an icy ball of regret and menthol as ALL of the mucus membranes launch a body-wide murder-suicide pact are to be Feared.

Dr. Bronner’s is good stuff tho. And the bottle makes for great bathroom reading material.

the fact all of this is true is what makes me scared

I think the most damage this site has done to me is making me think "It's fucken wimdy" when it is, in fact, fucken wimdy outside.

my two categories of anime rec are “it’s okay if you don’t really like anime, you’ll probably like this” and “this will not make any goddamn sense to you if you have not wasted years of your life on trash”

y’all took about five minutes to turn this into some kind of contentious madoka post when i was just sitting here innocently contemplating the spectrum from miyazaki to the bread anime

I am taking so many fucking notes

“It’s one second.” I said “It can’t possibly be that great.” I was wrong.

My favorite thing about this is that the “traditional” woman isn’t always on the left. By switching it up the artist is really committing to the idea that the right way for a woman to be is however she wants.

Just wish some of the women were plus size..

It got better

Okay I haven’t reblogged this addition

in a Young Adult novel it would just be called The Storm

In a Terry Pratchett novel it would just be called Alfred. Not Hurricane Alfred, or Tropical Storm Alfred, just Alfred. This might be brought up once by a naive, sympathetic viewpoint character, but some wiser (for certain values of wise) character will admonish them for discrimination against natural phenomena, and noting that we would never call a human “Human Jim”. Later in the story, the Alfred’s individuality and relatability will be a significant plot point.

in a cyberpunk novel it would be the second half of an ordinary word, with an apostrophe at the beginning. the ‘phoon, the ‘cane, etc.

goddammit you’re absolutely right

Everyone adding “but i DO have more self control than a fat person!!” is a self righteous piece of shit who 1) knows literally nothing about fat science and 2) has been blocked. Fat people deserve respect. You have not earned the privilege you have over fat people; it’s been given to you by an unfair hierarchical society and you fuckers walking around thinking it’s a meritocracy so you can feel special need to get a fucking clue.

Yes, this applies to fat people who aren’t trying to lose weight!! And fat people who eat more food than you do!! You are not better than them and acting like you are just makes you an ass.

every day i look at the sink and i’m like seriously? honest to god i have used dishes once again?

this post is not for people frustrated by ppl putting dishes in their communal sink bc “oh i would NEVER leave a dish in the sink.” fuck off you already have your life together you don’t need this post. this is for the slimes and losers whose sinks are filled with the dishes of their own creation. this is for the lazy women, the useless men, the pathetic enbies. get out of here you sparkling clean dished heathens