BaronMagikCarp

very into films from a child’s perspective about the weirdness, imagination and perversity of childhood at the moment

is that my chemical romance?

OH MY GOD not every group of emos is my chemical romance stfu tumblr

but it actually is my chemical romance

I love that Jules Verne asked the question "What kind of person could circumnavigate the world in 80 days?" and decided that the answer was not a groundbreaking explorer or genius inventor, but a guy who's really, really, really obsessed with train and boat schedules.

my final paper for my CS degree was literally "how can we algorithmically optimise for the fastest possible circumnavigation route on commercial flights?", which incidentally required me to adopt a very good working knowledge of what flight options are available at what times (and also led to me accidentally memorising several hundred airport codes)

incidentally the fastest possible route seems to be about 51 hours, if you're working from 2022 schedules like i was. if you use current schedules and are very optimistic about how quickly you can transfer between flights, you can maybe get it down to around 48 hours (also known as 25 millivernes).

The very best thing about tumblr is that you can make a post about a 154-year-old novel and get responses like this.

Someday I'm gonna.

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

if someone gets killed by a grizzly bear or a polar bear it’s like “Damn, that’s unfortunate. Luck of the draw.” but if someone gets killed by a black bear you’re like “What did they do to that bear to make it that angry?”

I heavily recommend getting very good at spotting Meta glasses. Like I'm talking so good all you need is a glance. Otherwise, I would go about public life bearing in mind that more and more people are wearing expensive camera glasses that can record you without you realizing.

I am against Meta and everything they stand for but I’m curious if peoples’ opinions would change about someone wearing them as a disability aid?

i was so naive in thinking that spirk shippers were exaggerating. what the fuck is wrong with these two.

SPOCK HAS A MATING CYCLE?????

I don't know what's more annoying, online shopping for clothes and clicking on a size chart and it doesn't show the measurements for a size it says it has and you have to guess or clicking on a size chart and it shoes a size that isn't actually available for clothes you really want.

These are both eclipsed by having the typical gendered clothing options, Men or Women, and then not having the big and tall/plus size clothes even under those but under something else like Other. I swear it's like, "It's over here, fatty. We don't even see you as a gendered person (and we don't mean this in a good way)."

On par with that is going to re-purchase clothes you already own and liked and finding out they don't make them in your size anymore or it's only available now in the most awful/dull colors imaginable. Seething is perhaps the way I'm feeling right now.

OK, related to the above but not really related, just kind of a minor gripe, why does all men's style underwear now seem to be boxer briefs? That shit is uncomfortable, especially with big thighs. Like just get boxers or just get briefs. It's like a spork but not fun and cheerful, just annoying with bad support and legs that roll up. You know, if a spork had legs I guess.

I don't know what's more annoying, online shopping for clothes and clicking on a size chart and it doesn't show the measurements for a size it says it has and you have to guess or clicking on a size chart and it shoes a size that isn't actually available for clothes you really want.

These are both eclipsed by having the typical gendered clothing options, Men or Women, and then not having the big and tall/plus size clothes even under those but under something else like Other. I swear it's like, "It's over here, fatty. We don't even see you as a gendered person (and we don't mean this in a good way)."

On par with that is going to re-purchase clothes you already own and liked and finding out they don't make them in your size anymore or it's only available now in the most awful/dull colors imaginable. Seething is perhaps the way I'm feeling right now.