The God of Tumblr

My extremely controversial gaming opinion is that they should allow you to obtain meat in stardew valley and while I understand that the vast majority of people might not want to play with it I also think somewhat that the absence of any such mechanics in a farming simulator is a sign of broader disconnection and alienation from where food comes from etc

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

supid

supid.

stop thinking with your dick and start thinking with your pussy. ok now stop thinking with your pussy and start thinking with your dick again. meditate on the differences between them. call me back when you get it.

God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour

you see you don’t get posts like this on twitter

every day at least once while on a walk i think to myself “it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour” and sometimes if i am alone i say it out loud

severely underrated gag imo is the one where a character turns very slowly and the sounds of stone grinding against stone is superimposed over it

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid

dude’s fucking TORN about whether or not to buy a beret

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

electric stoves aren’t real btw they’re placebo stoves. your food cooks because of the placebo effect

boiling water isn’t real either it’s just bubbles. put your hand in the spaghetti if you believe in god

this is tagged “sorry for quality” and i was like well a speech bubble can’t be that bad can it. but folks,