atlas falling

i’m burning the candle at ends you’ve never heard of

if I ever tell you “lmk what you think if you read/play/watch it!” I am firmly inviting you to send me a play by play minute by minute cataloguing of your thoughts about The Thing

as funny as “those are his hooves you bitch” I’m mad that it overshadows that lil wayne really did have socks on in a jacuzzi 

can y'all stop just throwing random words together and expecting us to understand it

you had to be there

you motherfuckers gotta start writing out the names of these fucking shows. i can't take another post talking about the reveal that's so good in the new season of WINWTBVASGS

with that said, i will set an example for others to follow. did you all enjoy last night's new episode of What?? I Never Wanted To Be Virginia's Sexiest General Solicitor!!

the only “v” “tubers” i care about are the “root vegetables” i grow in my “vagina”. to all the haters who saw this post early on patreon and told me not to post it: kill yourselves, sincerely this time

I am once again begging and pleading to people who don't like evil people in their shows to stop watching the everybody is evil show

dude star wars is so good and/or bad and/or mediocre sometimes, depending

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

the mandela effect is so funny bc almost all of it can be boiled down to "you were a kid and memory is highly unreliable," "you assumed how a word was spelled based on how it sounded," or "you're confusing two different things"

the mandela effect can be summarized as "you'd rather create an alternate universe where you're right than admit that you are wrong"

avengers doomsday trailer is so fucking embarrassing bro it's like watching an aging celebrity try to relive their greatest hits

it's so rote now... ooooh here's 72 actors you recognize making shocked faces at a greenscreen. ominous narration to let you know that this is definitely the scariest thing we've ever had to fight. we wheeled Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan out of the retirement home to fag it up again. are you entertained. are you reaching for your wallets yet.

I've never seen anything more soulless in my life tbh. I've never wanted to see a movie crash and burn more. let it be dead so marvel studios can get on with being a spirit halloween already.

people tagging this with Russo brother hate as if any other director(s) wouldn't have gotten the same brief for the exact same big budget cgi disaster movie crossover schlock are so funny. there's no world where this was a boundary-pushing art film babes I'm sorry. you're ordering milkshakes at the hardware store