a puzzle under construction

i’m reminded of the developer of a mapping software who had a variable named ‘legend_handles’ that got refactored into ‘leg_handles,’ ‘leg_hands,’ and finally ‘feet’

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

there are simply no words in the english language that can describe starting on thursday the fourth. thats how iconic it is

choosing to start on friday the fifth. i just think its very inspiring

lets all kill ourselves

you know when you're a kid and you're like "i hate broccoli!" and then you avoid that shit for 20 years until someone makes you try some exquisitely sautéed tenderstem and it's the best shit ever and you realise your parents just don't know how to cook broccoli? this is roughly how i feel about poetry

reblog if you are ASEXUAL, support ASEXUAL PEOPLE, or SECRETLY A DRAGON IN HUMAN FORM

*suspicious pile of shiny objects*

*suspicious pile of asexual media under my bed ((its just really shiny rocks and wood burning tools))*

*Suspiciously draconian behavioural patterns*

I was told that I’d get used to not having a headphone jack. I still want a fucking headphone jack. I hate that phones don’t have them. It’s stupid and awful and I hate it

if he has abs he doesnt care about you

men with abs aren’t capable of love

if he has abs he doesnt care about you

men with abs aren’t capable of love

if he has abs he doesnt care about you

men with abs aren’t capable of love

Parent I’m babysitting for says “[2yo] usually reads a bedtime story but sometimes she wi say ‘I want pictures of [2yo]’ and we pull up photos of her on the iPad to look at.”

Modern day Narcissus at the pool

I just heard the dad say “once you finish your noodles we can look at FIVE pictures of [2yo].” I am in hysterics I’ve never seen a child rewarded with pictures of themself. I love it, I hope she loves herself forever.

My sick one true love fetish……… my disgusting monogamous shipping……..

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

I think one of the gentlest things in the world is when a friend just gets your weird little brain. like you say half a sentence and they finish it. you reference something incredibly niche from seven years ago and they’re already nodding. they understand your strange vocabulary for emotions that don’t have real words yet. it’s being seen and known and still loved. maybe especially because you’re known. god. what a gift.

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

LMAO hell yeah <33 At our last house my room had mid-to-dark purple walls and light purple carpet and it was great. We’re in a rental right now but!! One day I shall have my purple walls again <3

I think I'm gonna go with purple and green for my bedroom. Not certain yet but I love purple and I don't get much of a chance to use it.

Ohhh that’d be really fun! What shades do you think you’d go for?

I'm thinking pale purple walls with forest green accents and then I can decorate with dark purple and light green stuff. I prefer dark purple walls but I spend so much time in this room and they really eat the light and would overwhelm the colour of anything I put in it so I might go pale and then put in darker decor. Or I might just say 'fuck it' and go dark. I guess we'll see.

Use your PTO