there's a black hole in the living room floor

here’s my pitch for next doctor who. budget of 5 cents and a dream. a female doctor with female companions and a female master. they will all get horrendously gay for each other. we will make 5 billion dollars. bbc please hire me.

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

airpods are literally such a massive downgrade like remember when headphones cost £2 didn’t need charging didn’t randomly disconnect and didn’t get lost all the time. remember when tech kinda worked for kinda cheap

remember when phones just fucking had headphone jacks

it is always narratively correct to make your characters sleep together before they sort through the hundreds of lies and misdirections between them. make things worse make things worse make things worse #i love betrayal #i love lying #i love people feeling bad about themselves

Let’s fucking go

this straw? oh, she’s my last

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too