there's a black hole in the living room floor

seeing beautiful women in low cut tops with boobs spilling out is good enough reason to stay alive

Did you guys know that this isn’t your grave and you can get out of this hole? I just found out

probably nothing lesbian will happen to me this pride but by god i can Hope

wait I have one more story. there's a group of anti-abortion protesters who often set up by the Ethiopian cafe I hang out in, and when I was waiting to cross one of them held up an aborted fetus sign and said "how does this make you feel?" and I said "hungry", and then I was so satisfied by my own cleverness that I missed the lights and stepped off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

Thats the context for this meme???

I feel like I've been robbed the whole time. This is magical.

I'm dying

whatever happens it’s so important that we’re funny about it. Above all else commit to the bit

the bus is never going to come because im a bad person