Well, it's my birthday. And I've been considering my past year because it's been rough but I've somehow made it. There has been also lots of good things. I have made new friends, some extremely close ones. I have also had an extremely toxic person come into my life and leave and hopefully won't be an issue again (but now I am confident enough to slam the door in her face, whether that be literal or metaphorical). I have had horror stories at work as well as some great memories. I struggled a lot with classes but I'm doing better. I had unpleasant roommates but not so much anymore and now live with one of my closest friends. I have struggled to write as a result of constant stress but I'm slowly getting back into it. Speaking of which, as of today I have been writing fanfiction for 11 years. I have allowed myself to start some new things I have wanted to for years and haven't until now such as wearing make up that I find fun and colorful, putting fun stickers on my laptop, and buying comics. I have started reading a bit more, something that I loved as a kid and then struggled to find time for, and still do, but I am reading more than I was. I have also fell into a rabbit hole of buying more books than I need (since April when this all started I have bought 13 books), at least all but two have been thrifted! I'm very private about being queer in my personal life, and I came out to someone for the first time in a long time. I have started to feel my love of sports again through college football, college basketball, the Winter Olympics and the World Cup, while also rediscovering the frustration that comes from caring. And hey, maybe this year I'll start to care about the NBA again, or start to care about some of the teams in my hometown that are new. I fell back into self harm, something I had not done since high school, for a few months, but now I'm better and the situation that put me into that state has passed (PSA for those at home, sometimes self harm isn't in the "stereotypical" methods, but it can be anything you intentionally do to harm yourself. For me it was not eating and not sleeping. I didn't really realize for a while that I was self harming because that isn't "typical" self harm, and I had been brushing it off as forgetting to eat (lie) and insomnia (lie). It was only when I realized oh wait what I was doing was self harm that I was able to do something about it. Just wanted to say that in case anyone would find that helpful). I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have had a lot of challenges, some things (well, I'll be honest, mainly people) that severely fricked me up, some things I am still recovering from, that my friends are still recovering from. But they're getting better. Those toxic people are mostly out of our lives, and every day they become less and less relevant (fingers crossed it stays that way). I haven't self harmed since December! I have more close friends that have my back. I have had some incredible experiences with friends and family. I am achieving things I found very difficult before. And while my 22nd year was one of my most difficult, it has ended well, and I just hope my 23rd continues well and that the good things that are set up will continue.
